Twelve-step wisdom has taught for years that if one practices “acting as if” one’s actions will become reality. This is a powerful lesson and a powerful tool. A more modern application of this principle is the popular psychological practice referred to as “affirmations.” The use of affirmations is based on the premise that if one says or thinks something over and over again for a long enough period of time, one will believe what is repeated and its truth will be incorporated into one’s behavioral repertoire and self-concept. In contrast, it is commonly believed that if one repeats negative self-talk over and over it will result in a negative effect on one’s self-concept and related behaviors.

Anyone remember the child’s story of the “Little Engine that Could?” That story implanted the wisdom of “acting as if” in many a young mind. Simply put, if you believe you can, you will keep trying at whatever your belief is focused upon until you achieve it.

My mind has always had a powerful effect on my reality. When I was seven years old I attended a country school that had four rows of desks with each row corresponding to one grade, grades 1-4. Once a year the school nurse would come and give vaccinations. I learned if one had a temperature when it was your turn to get a shot you would not have to have the shot. I focused my thinking on this, and by the time the nurse got to me I did have a high temperature and did not have to have a shot.

Later, I was able to “act as if” I could have a happy life without drinking alcohol. That reality has been true now for over thirty-two years. Similarly, I once weighed over 300 pounds and was on medication for diabetes. People told me I could lose weight and be healthy if I stopped eating anything with flour and sugar in them and ate regular sized portions. I wanted to believe them, but I had to be desperate (hit bottom) before I believed them enough to start acting as if it were true. I started weighing and measuring all my foods; I ate only foods that did not contain wheat flour or any type of sugar. I told myself over and over again, others have done this and with God’s help I can do it too. Within a month I had lost enough weight that my blood sugars were normal and my doctor took me off of my diabetic medication.  Over about one and half year’s time of acting on the reality initiated by “acting as if” I was able to release many, many pounds to my Higher Power. I was able to shrink approximately eighteen dress sizes.

How does this apply to recovery and spiritual growth? Living life one day at a time, abstaining from self-harming behaviors and subsequently growing spiritually is strongly connected with this principle. We can only be clean and/or sober and make positive changes within ourselves if we truly believe we can. Going to meetings; listening to others’ experience, strength and hope; and listening to one’s sponsor makes it possible for us to start believing we can.  Acting as if can indeed change our reality for the better if we are willing to give it a try.

Please comment and share your ideas on this topic; I look forward to reading your ideas.

Be Still and Know I am God

Many are familiar with this declarative statement taken from the Old Testament. Perhaps it was talking about anxiety yesterday that brought it to mind this morning. It has become almost a mantra for me when I sit still and try to quiet my mind. This morning, however, I want to explore the ” Know I am God” part. My  adventures in contemplative prayer have given me the heightened awareness and an evolving ability to see and connect with God in all things, including myself. This  means I am starting to comprehend the universality of humanity’s “oneness” with God and all of creation.

I want to focus on that last sentence and try explaining what it means to me so it won’t be just another example of almost meaningless “psycho-philosophical jargon.” The oneness I speak of is a very strong intuitive connection (dare I say vibe as we did so many years ago?) to, well, everything. That connection gives me the gifts of compassion and understanding for many people and situations that would never have been there before.

Perhaps an example might help clarify what I am trying to communicate. The book “Alcoholics Anonymous” talks about one type of person its program cannot help—-someone unable to be honest, not from choice, but because they are not physically or psychologically able to be honest. Had the book been written now rather than in the 1930s, the term “not genetically capable of honesty” might have been used to describe such a person. For over a decade now, that phrase has always led me to thoughts of a man I divorced—–a man who was very verbose about the principles of AA but who, in actuality, was incapable of being honest with himself or others.

Perhaps I am a slow learner. But in my contemplative application of “Be still and know I am God” I have started to view him with more compassion and acceptance than ever before. I intuitively know he also is a creature created by God who has good intentions and thoughts but is often unable to act upon them. Once I accept that realization, I can recall the times I have been unable to make such intentions reality. Then, I am able to begin to feel compassion. Admittedly, I am having to work on nurturing this compassion, but, in this specific situation, that is progress.

Other examples of my newly found  ” perceived oneness” have been triggered by numerous events documented in this past week’s media coverage of world events. When an elderly woman was reunited with her dog on CBS, I was there with her and God. When a man in England killed another and faced the camera holding a machete with blood red hands and bragging of his deed, I was there too. The connections with positive situations feel wonderful; the connections with evil feel indescribably bad….because viewing evil within the context of this type of connection and oneness forces one to contemplate the evil within oneself. This contemplation provides me with an even stronger motivation to  share God’s love wherever I can because that is the only solution I have found spiritually capable of combating the evil that abounds in our world and to a limited extent within myself.

This must have seemed like a wildly careening tangent in terms of the topic “be still and know I am God.” But it is the “knowingness” that has caused a paradigm shift in my perception from being an isolated self/human to one of being one with God and all that is. This shift has made me look at things differently and motivated me to focus my energy in a positive direction.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this topic. Have a blessed day!

Easy Does It

Countless bumper stickers proclaim “Easy Does It.” Does this mean all those drivers want me to apply my brakes?  Maybe.  Recently I have found out it means a bit more.

During my last routine doctor’s visit I complained of my heart rate always being too high when I checked my blood pressure and pulse every morning. It had been hovering too close to 100 to suit me….especially since I take it early in the morning after a good night’s sleep when I should be rested and relaxed.

To appreciate the full context of this dialogue between myself and my physician, you need to realize I have taught mental health nursing  for over thirty years at a variety of universities. Imagine how taken aback I was when my doctor suggested I was experiencing anxiety. My immediate reply was, “but I am not afraid of anything.” To  make matters worse, she then suggested I was having some sort of panic episodes.  I very assertively declared that I had seen panic reactions and I was definitely not having something of that sort.

Next, my doctor wanted to prescribe an anxiety medication to lower my heart rate. The prescription read, “take as needed.” The pharmacist that filled it asked if my doctor said how often to take it. I said no, but that I had often, as a nurse, given it to patients approximately  4-6 hours between doses usually 2-4 times a day. I further told the pharmacist I didn’t plan on taking it more than once every week or so, if that often.

Now, back  in the day, I would have welcomed this prescription with glee. But the part of me that knows about recovery knows this particular type of medication is one of the most addictive medications on the market. Knowing that, I still took one dose, rationalizing my doctor knew best and that I did need to get my heart rate down. The one dose worked. I was in a fog for a couple of days, and the bottle of pills has been tucked away in a hard to reach, rarely accessed area of a top shelf ever since. Surprisingly, I hated the way that one pill made me feel.

My doctor did give me some good advice though. She said to sit still for a couple of minutes and to take a couple of deep breaths before I check my heart rate and blood pressure. Since I’ve followed that advice, my heart rate has been in the 70s and 80s (a much healthier place).

What does this have to do with “easy does it”?  I learned that even though I have helped countless others relax I need to do so myself even though I was not aware of needing to do so. This has triggered an “easy does it” paradigm shift in my approach to life. I have been filling my semi-retirement with a volunteer schedule that kept me as busy if not more busy than when I was working full time. I still have and honor a lot of volunteer responsibilities, but I am aware of doing so in a much more relaxed manner. Several times a day I make myself sit still and relax my  mind and my body. My perception of feeling driven, of pushing to get everything done has given way to a much more relaxed feeling of just letting things happen. Cutting my daily coffee intake from 8-12 cups a day to 4-5 cups a day has helped tremendously. I knew caffeine was contributing to my higher heart rate, but, until now, I just was not willing to alter that particular addictive behavior.

So, when I see one of those bumper stickers now, I know, for me, it means take a deep breath, relax, and realize that God is doing for me what I cannot do for myself, that my life is truly in God’s hands, and I might as well slow down and take time to enjoy this gift of life God has given me.

Looking forward to reading your thoughts on this one. 🙂

“Let Go and Let God” is a slogan frequently cited in recovery circles. When questioned about the meaning of this phrase, individuals often give differing opinions. So, today, I am going to write about what this phrase means to me.

First, what it does not mean to me:

•    Sitting and doing nothing while I wait for Great Spirit to do everything

•    Telling everyone I meet that everything is in Great Spirit’s hands

•     I think I can tell Great Spirit what to do

Secondly, what it does mean to me:

•   Realizing I’m not in charge nor am I Great Spirit

•  Accepting that Great Spirit will handle things in her/his own way

•   Knowing that Great Spirit does not share my human concept of time and  that Great Spirit’s intervention in my life is not dictated by my time limits/expectations

•  I need to be willing to step back and let  Great Spirit handle a problem or challenge while still doing my part (with her/his direction)  to solve the problem or surpass the challenge

And, finally, what it implies to me:

•  I can relax and let Great Spirit drive the bus—or to at least guide me as I do so

•  I don’t have to solve problems (mine or others’)

• I don’t have to fix myself or others

•   I need to leave judging others completely up to Great Spirit

Am I able to always do this? Of course not. I am a first-born controlling worry-wart. But I am a work in progress, and I am much better than I once was at letting go and not “grabbing it back.” Lately, I’ve been making a conscientious effort to relax, to take deep breaths, and to practice contemplative prayer while I sit still, quiet my mind, and just “be here now.” It is amazing to me how much better Great Spirit’s guidance is able to reach my soul when I am able to sit still in quiet contemplation.

Enough about me and my ideas. I look forward to hearing comments from those who read this regarding their ideas about what “Let Go and Let God” means to them in their lives.

I have been taking days one day at a time for 32 plus years now, and I have found it to be a one step at a time affair. It has been an adventure with ups and downs and “all-arounds. ” My Higher Power has gifted me with these experiences. Although  I would not care to re-live some of them, they have forced me to grow spiritually. It is my hope that this blog can be one where we share our experience, strength, and hope—-sharing stories and hope that support spiritual growth.

Today I would like to focus on the topic of why “bad things happen to good people.” Watching all the news about the devastation of Moore, OK,  has put me in that mind set. I have accepted I am a good person. I have accepted the bad things that happened to me and have tried to use them to become a “wounded healer.” But I still question “Why?” when I see devastation and pain like that portrayed on television today.  Am I supposed to learn from something like this? How can I use it to help others? Why would my Higher Power allow/cause a disaster like this to happen?

Here’s the positive I have seen come out of this disaster so far. It has focused prayer and human-to-human help on those two and four-leggeds hurt by this tornado. It has made it clear that material things do not last forever; they can be gone in an instant. People’s souls and things spiritual cannot be “blown away” and are, perhaps, even strengthened by undergoing something like this. The other good thing I have seen are the pictures of people reunited with each other and with their pets; and these are the scenes that bring tears to my eyes and joy to my soul.

So, I still have no definitive answer to the age old question of why God allows evil to exist and cause pain. Perhaps what I need to focus on is what to do about it and with it….just like I have to do with my alcoholism and compulsive eating. If I spend all my time focusing on the “why” of my problem—–being angry and resentful and being a victim I just get buried deeper in the pain. It has only been when I have moved my soul in the direction of working on/living in the solution rather than the problem that I have been able to survive and grow spiritually.

Enough about me. I would love to hear from others of you out there what your thoughts are about today’s topic. Please share them.