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Ever since last Friday I have been dealing with a giant corporation (AT&T) expecting it to be fair and logical. I have literally spent hours on the phone trying to communicate with them  and expecting what they communicated to be consistent and understandable.  Everyone had different explanations, instructions, and requests. I have worried, made repeated urgent visits to the local AT&T store (after giving up on telephone communication), grieved the loss of my Internet these past two days, and, in general, made myself miserable trying to make sense out of an impossible situation. I should have known transferring a land line phone number to a new IPhone would not be as easy as the sales people promised—–and I should not have been surprised when the sales promises about bundles and Internet access were not kept. Enough. The purpose of today’s blog is not to vent my AT&T resentments. I am, as they say, through letting them “live rent free in my head.”

I am sharing these details so I can explain it wasn’t until I accepted reality and stopped fighting it this morning that things started getting better. Here is what I found in Alcoholics Anonymous’ “Big Book” (Anonymous, 2001, p.62)  this afternoon that put these past few days into perspective for me:

“This is the how and why of it.  First of all, we had to quit playing god. It didn’t work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children.”

All that resentment and worry I was nursing was really all about things not going as I had planned. I wasn’t directing “the drama”—–God was. This morning I refused to worry about it.  Instead  I decided to stop fighting and trust God with the situation. By 1:10 PM I had access to Internet, and am now able to “blog” again.  I should have “surrendered” my “playing god” much sooner; I would have enjoyed more serenity that way.

I am also reminded that when I am caught in the snares of resentment it helps  to focus my attention on things I am thankful for rather than what is bothering me. Here is the gratitude list I should have come up with this weekend instead of being mad at AT&T:

I could go on and on, but I will spare my typing fingers and my readers. The last four days would have been much easier for me if I had employed this simple technique earlier .

I need to remember that I can relax;  I can let God be in charge. I don’t have to run everything. I can sit back and let Him “drive the bus.” I can take a deep breath (inspiration of spirit), slow down, and appreciate the reality I am privileged to have and the many gifts God has given me. Why is it so hard for me to let myself be the child and Him be the father? Sure, I know trust issues play a part—-but my God has shown me over and over that the one thing I can trust in this life is Him.

Thanks for letting me “erupt” with all these words today. If you have a comment about how “letting go and letting God” works in your life—–or how focusing on gratitude rather than worry puts things in perspective, please comment. Thanks. May God bless and keep you.

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Today’s blog is going to examine what sounds like a simple concept: “willingness.” Only it is not so simple. Personal change can never happen as long as we are not willing to change. I can want to lose 10 pounds with “all my might”, but until I am willing to do what it takes for that to happen it won’t. How many times have you or someone you know been lectured in the doctor’s office about quitting smoking, losing weight, bringing your cholesterol down, keeping your blood sugars level, exercising more, etc.? Health care professionals are wasting their  breath unless the person needing the change starts being willing to do what it takes to make the change happen.

How do we get to this mysterious place where we are ready to entertain the idea of change? I know, for the most part, each of us has to hit our own unique “bottom” before we are willing to give up on fixing things ourselves and ask a power greater than ourselves for help. It is that moment of surrender that lets willingness in the door.

At this point, I think it will be helpful to share an extensive quote from Bill W. ( Anonymous, !967. As Bill Sees It , p. 122):

Willingness Is the Key

“No matter how much one wishes to try, exactly how can he turn his own will and his own life over to the care of whatever God he thinks there is?

A beginning, even the smallest, is all that is needed. Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more.

Though self-will may slam it shut again, as it frequently does, it will always respond the moment we again pick up the key of willingness.”

This quote tells me that unless I am willing to change—to turn things over to the God of my understanding—-then nothing will change. Right now I know I could lose ten pounds in the next month if I weighed and measured five small feedings every day and stuck to eating only specific proteins, vegetables, and fruits. But I am maintaining/gaining small amounts of weight rather than losing because I am not willing to turn my eating over to God at this point. I am enjoying the “freedom” of doing it my way. I am a diabetic, but surely I can be like other people and not gain weight as long as I don’t eat flour, starches, and sugar.

Wrong. I am a unique child of God. I need to trust God to know what is best for my health. Why should I be surprised that I need to follow a unique plan of eating to stay healthy? I cannot drink like other people. I cannot eat like other people. I can feel sorry for myself and sit moping on the “pity pot” all day long planning my next alcohol or food binge….or I can start to wonder what would it take for me to be willing to turn  it all over to God again? And in just that moment of wondering, I am letting that key of willingness start to chip away at my self-will. Surely, I pray, I will not have to hit a “hard bottom” of suffering, sickness, and almost dying before I am  willing to hand my eating over to God.  I am eating foods that are healthy for me. I just don’t want to follow a strict regimen of eating specific foods at specific times  for breakfast, lunch, mid-afternoon, dinner and bedtime snack. I’m tired of eating specific foods at five  specific times.  I am in a sort of “half-in and half-out” healthy eating limbo; I want to find a new, softer way of “eating healthy.” I want to “do things my way” just a little bit longer. And, as long as I do that, I will be slamming the door on the willingness that can lead to health and serenity.

I used my personal experience with my food addiction to illustrate how our mind and our rationalization can keep willingness—-the very thing that can help us—-from saving us from ourselves and our self-will.  Willingness is the key to escaping any addiction or problem we may be experiencing. But we have to be willing to pick it up in order for the key to work.

Please comment about the concept of willingness and the role it has played in your life. May God bless and keep you.

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At a meeting I participated in this morning we discussed Alcoholics Anonymous’ 11th step which focuses on seeking God through prayer and meditation.  The text we used  to guide our discussion was Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (Anonymous, 1981). Here are the main points that came out of our reading and discussion:

• Prayer is more than asking God for specific things or for asking our prayers to be answered “our way” (p. 102)
• Instead we need to ask for knowledge of His will and the power to carry it out. Actually, the text said to use this simple request whenever decisions need to be made:  “Thy will, not mine, be done.” (p. 103)
• Several individuals discussed the importance of starting and closing your day with prayer—-as well as praying throughout the day whenever needed.
• A couple of individuals stressed that different people have different ways of praying—-that the important thing is that you pray and ask for God’s will to be done.

I didn’t share it with the group, but the discussion reminded me of a story a friend once told me. It seems that at a particular time in this friend’s life, she was having trouble turning things over to a Higher Power and letting God’s will “run the show.” The friend shared that her sponsor instructed her to repeat the phrase, “Thy will, not mine, be done”  in her mind every time she walked through a door. After about a week of doing this, my friend found herself automatically considering God’s will whenever a problem arose and whenever she prayed. It sounds too simple, but sometimes it is the simple things that work.

The meeting highlights offer important guidelines, but perhaps the chapter’s closing paragraph best summarizes the “why” of prayer:

“Perhaps one of the greatest rewards of mediation and prayer is the sense of belonging that comes to us. We no longer live in a completely hostile world. We are no longer lost and frightened and purposeless. The moment we catch even a glimpse of God’s will, the moment we begin to see truth, justice, and love as the real and eternal things in life we are no longer deeply disturbed by all the seeming evidence to the contrary that surrounds us in purely human affairs. We know that God lovingly watches over us. We know that when we turn to Him, all will be well with us, here and hereafter.” (p. 105)

I can’t top that “closing”—-so I won’t try. Please comment and share your ideas about praying—-what works for you and would be helpful to the rest of us. Thank you! God bless and keep you.

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Last night I participated in  a book study of Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects Steps Six and Seven (Bill P, Todd W., and Sara S., 2005). Several “spiritual pearls” emerged from the discussion. Many of them were attributed to Sam Shoemaker, an Episcopalian priest who helped Bill W. enter recovery.

Here are important highlights I brought home with me from last night’s meeting:

1. I need to surrender my will to God on a daily basis .
2. This  will help me acknowledge and change problematic behaviors and personality traits (character defects) that impede my spiritual growth.
3. I need to invest time and effort in improving my relationship with God in order to continue to grow spiritually as this will make this surrender/insight/change process much easier.
4. To progress in my spiritual journey I need to cultivate the habit of “looking inward and upward, not outward and downward” (p. xvi)

Why do these look so challenging and difficult to me?  In the past, my “self-will” and stubbornness of wanting to do things my way and by myself often kept me from turning things over to God.  Sometimes they still do. But, as I read this “instruction list” for spiritual progress, I realize I am already following these instructions  in my daily prayers, meditation, and writing. My daily immersion in prayer and meditation have brought me closer to God, and it is easier to surrender to him because of that closeness and trust.

There is something about the 4th item in the list above that keeps calling my attention. At first, it does not appear to be directly related to the other three .  Until I look at it closely. Then I realize, metaphorically speaking, that I have to look inward to realize what I need to release to God, and I have to look upward to release it in relationship with God. If I looked outside  myself I would never see what it is about me that I need to change. Chances are I would be seeing the “problems” that abound in others. If I focused my attention on the character defects of others, I become judgmental  and critical and “look down” on those I am judging. That would definitely halt my spiritual growth.

One last spiritual pearl from last night’s book study was not from the book—–it was from one of the participants who shared something she had read or heard somewhere else. The wisdom that she passed on is:  the people we meet today may be as close as we come to God today.  Since I believe God is in each human being, I thought there was a lot of truth in that statement.  Maybe I do need to look outward sometimes to encounter God—-God is not “just in me” or only “up there.”

Enough. Please comment and share your thoughts on today’s content. Thanks. God bless and keep you.

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Today as I was leafing through  Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age (Anonymous, 1957)  I took time to read a part of the book  written by Bill W., a co-founder of AA.  I ran across one of Bill’s stories that eventually   established the “bare bones” of AA’s 12 steps. In this  story Bill related what happened when an old drinking buddy of his came to his house and had a very important “kitchen table” conversation with him. Bill noticed his friend was not only sober, but different—-so he asked his friend, “What’s up?”  Bill’s friend told him he’d found religion, and when Bill asked him what type of religion, his friend explained his “new religion” to Bill.

Here is the explanation  Bill’s friend gave him that has since changed so many lives:

“I just fell in with group of people, the Oxford Groups. I don’ go along with all their teachings by any means.  But those folks have given me some wonderful ideas. I learned that I had to admit I was licked; I learned that I ought to take stock of myself and confess my defects to another person in confidence; I learned that I needed to make restitution for the harm I had done others.  I was told that I ought to practice the kind of giving that has no price tag on it, the giving of yourself to somebody…..they taught me I should try to pray to whatever God I thought there was for the power to carry out these simple precepts. And if I did not believe there was any God, then I had better try the experiment of praying to whatever God there might be. But you know, Bill, it’s a queer thing, but even before I had done all this, just as soon as I decided that I would try with an open mind, it seemed to me that my drinking problem was lifted right out of me….This time I felt completely released of the desire, and I have not had a drink for months.” (pp. 58-59)

The “precepts” shared by Bill’s friend that eventually led to forming AA’s 12 steps can, I believe, be used by anyone to deal with the challenges of living. Specifically, these precepts are:

• Admit you are “licked”
• Take stock of yourself
• Confess your defects in confidence to another person
• Make restitution for harm you have done others
• Practice freely giving of yourself to others
• Pray to God for the power to carry these precepts out

I believe all of these “precepts” or teachings can be found in the Bible.  But thank God, someone presented them in a way that Bill could hear and remember. I do not believe you have to be an alcoholic or addict to find the magic that happens when your use these precepts to guide your actions.  Whenever I realize I cannot do something by myself and ask God for help it is amazing to me how much better my life becomes.

Please comment and share your thoughts about how these precepts have worked in your life. May God bless and keep you.

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Yesterday, I wrote a blog about seeking God and asked my readers to consider how they encounter and experience God in their lives (http://www.semissourian.com/blogs/farwell/). I  do not believe it is an accident that I  found an answer to the question of how we encounter God while reading Chittister (2010, The Rule of Benedict: A Spirituality for the 21st Century)  this afternoon.  I discovered that over 1500 years ago Benedict of Nursia addressed this question. Chittister relates (p. 80)  : “God, Benedict says quite clearly, is within us to be realized, not outside of us to be stumbled upon.”

In addition, Chittister describes the following discussion between a “seeker” and a “teacher” to illustrate this ( p. 81):

“‘How does a person seek union with God?’ the seeker asked.

‘The harder you seek,’ the teacher said, ‘the more distance you create between God and you.’

‘So what does one do about the distance?’

‘Understand that it isn’t there,’ the teacher said.

‘Does that mean that God and I are one?’ the seeker said.

‘Not one. Not two.’

‘How is that possible? ‘ the seeker asked

‘The sun and its light, the ocean and the wave, the singer and the  song. Not one. Not two.’ ”

For some reason, I felt a great sense of relief in reading and realizing the wisdom portrayed in this discussion between student and teacher. I never realized before that God and I together are as natural as “sun and light” or “sea and wave”—-or that we cannot be one or two .  I know from systems theory that the whole is greater and different than the sum of its parts. I had just never looked at God before in terms of systems theory….except perhaps in considering the trinity.

I know my power comes from God. What I need to realize and accept is that God and that power are naturally part of  me….that I don’t have to do anything to encounter or experience God. I just need to realize God is naturally within me so that I will stop searching all over the universe trying to find him.  If I accept that God is naturally within me, it follows that God is naturally within any human being.

I need to carry things a step further and “listen to the words, directions, and insights of the one who is a voice of Christ for me now.” (p.85). In other words, I need to pay attention to and respect the words and opinions of others and not be impatient when they are not similar to mine—-the “God” in them may be trying to tell me something important.   I should have been a bit more patient and respectful of others in my Adult Formation class this morning  at church. I was in a critical frame of mind, and  I  felt like most of the class had been wasted on a discussion of the meanings of words over the centuries rather than what those words mean to us in our own lives.  That is where I missed the boat, in my critical frame of mind I did not really listen, and I may have missed something important God wanted me to know.

This may sound so far “out of the box” to some of you that you’ve already dismissed what I am saying as “nonsense.”  However,  I recognize  12 step principles in what Chittister is saying about “Benedict’s Rule.”  If I admit that I am powerless by myself, realize that God/Higher Power can restore me to sanity, and turn my will and my life over to the God of my understanding, my whole life, existence, and reasons for living are changed.

The biggest difference between the 12 step approach and what Benedict said is that the God I turn things over to is already within myself just waiting for me to realize He’s there—-and that I, therefore, need to treat every human being with the respect I afford God. The question then becomes not “What would Jesus do?” but “What would Jesus within me do?”

Pretty heavy duty stuff.  Please feel free to comment. Thanks for letting me ramble on about it. Hope you are having a beautiful Sunday. May God bless and keep you.

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Judging by Intentions

Dr. Paul O. (1995, There’s More to Quitting Drinking than Quitting Drinking, p. 58) describes remembering “a girl at an AA meeting saying why she couldn’t see why people thought she was an alcoholic until she realized they were judging her by her actions while she was judging herself by her intentions.”

Reading this made me stop and consider a few things. How often do I judge myself by my intentions rather than my actions?  Could my judgment be just as wrong if it were self-critical but still different from what others observe in my behavior?  It seems to me my self-judgment could err both on the positive and negative side of what others observe.

Judgment is based on our perception of reality, and, therefore, my self-judgment is, at times, based on a false assumption or perception, be it positive or negative. It makes me remember all the disagreements I have had with people when I’ve had to stand back and take a good, long look at the situation before I end up saying, “I’m sorry, that was not my intent.” Usually they don’t give a “you know what” about my intent—–what they are reacting to is their perception of what actually happened. Could there be just as many times when other perception-based attributes (self-esteem, self-worth, etc.) are totally out of touch with the reality observed by others?

So, now I realize I need to strive to aware of what idea, intent, or self-based attribute may be influencing my assessment of reality and of self. In addition, I need to be aware of the messages my behavior gives to others,  and I need to be able to understand that my assumptions may keep me from seeing myself and my behavior as others do.

What difference will having such an awareness make? Well, for starters, I imagine I will be less judgmental of others and of myself as I realize “invisible attributes” such as intent and bias play a part in shaping perception and how we relate with one another. It is also a strong reminder to be aggressively honest with myself or I will miss “the reality of my life.”

Perhaps the most important message of all is I need to let go of self-centeredness. I need to remember that when I judge others or worry about how others judge me, I often do it from a self-centered attitude of either superiority or inferiority. Based on advice from a meditative comment (reading for October 28 in the 1974 edition of Day by Day),  I need to let my Higher Power give my life meaning and significance rather than trying to do it myself because my “own meaning” is most often related to “ego, money, and pleasure.”

Questions to ponder:

• What part do intent and other “invisible” self-attributes play in your life?
• What role do you think our concept of “self” plays in how we relate to reality?
•  What would happen if we left the “shaping of reality” up to God?

Enough “deep thinking” for one afternoon. I’m going to try to “shut down the synapses” for a while and let God handle things. God bless and keep you.

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In 1961 Dr. Carl Jung and  Bill W., a co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) exchanged letters. I had not read those letters until today, and I want to discuss them with you. All quotes in the following discussion are from Bill W’s Grapevine Writings: The Language of the Heart (AA, 1988).

Carl Jung, as many of you know, was one of the “three founding fathers of psychiatry ” along with  Freud  and Adler (p. 282). In contrast, very few know that Carl Jung was instrumental in contributing to the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous. His 1961 correspondence with Bill W. was about a patient Dr. Jung had treated over 30 years before. The particular encounter between psychiatrist and patient in question had a strong influence on the development of AA’ s program of recovery.

According to their correspondence, Dr. Jung saw this patient in 1931. He told the patient his case was hopeless  and that medical and psychiatric interventions could not help him. In his letter to Bill W., Jung shared an important insight about alcoholics (p. 280):

“His craving for alcohol was the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language: the union with God.”

I found it impressive that such a famous psychiatrist could remember an encounter with one client in great detail for over 30 years. Jung’s insight about the craving for alcohol being similar to that of spiritual hunger was profound to me because I have been listening to people in recovery since 1981, and I cannot tell you how many of them describe their addiction as an attempt to “fill an emptiness” and to find that which will make them whole. Many have also expressed surprise and gratitude when they find following the spiritual pathway of the 12 steps  “fills them up” and takes away that hunger. Jung didn’t stop with insight. He went beyond identifying the problem and, thankfully for those in AA, began identifying a solution. Here’s Jung’s description of how to go about finding  “union with God” (p. 280-281): “The only right and legitimate way to such an experience is, that it happens to you in reality and it can only happen to you when you walk on a path which leads you to higher understanding”.  He went on to say  that both grace “or personal and honest contact with friends” (p. 280) might be helpful in attaining such a union with God.

The patient consequently got involved  with a religious group called the Oxford Group and an Episcopal priest—and stayed sober.  The patient shared his experience, and Bill W. realized he needed to have  a “spiritual experience” if he were to stay sober. This chain of events along with Bill W’s own “spiritual awakening” led Bill W. to envision “a society of alcoholics, each identifying with and transmitting his experience to the next—chain style. If each sufferer were to carry the news of the scientific hopelessness of alcoholism to each new prospect, he might be able to lay every newcomer wide open to a transforming spiritual experience” (p. 279).  Thus, the idea for AA was born.

To many of you, this may have been a boring bit of history, but sometimes something seemingly mundane can help create a miracle. Now I know the spiritual/recovery focus of this ongoing blog is “right on target.”

I hope you will read and share your comments about how addiction recovery and spirituality are interrelated—-both in the past and in the present. May God bless and keep you.

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Two things jump out at me this afternoon from the pages of Alcoholics Anonymous (2001). The first is “We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe” (p. 75). This is one  of the things that book tells its readers they will realize if they work  a twelve step program of recovery. I have heard an “old timer” in the program remark, “that sounds good and all, but just how do we get to ‘walking hand in hand with the Spirits of the Universe?'” There are lots of answers to that question in AA’s “Big Book.” All are important, but I want to focus on a couple of them that I think are very good answers to this question.

The first answer is: “And acceptance is the answer to all my problems. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life—-unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment….I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes” (p. 417).

The second answer is:  “Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny” (p.164).

I could stop right now and know what needed to be said had been said.  To me, these quotes are telling me to shed my ego,  always look at my part in any situation that bothers me so that I can focus on changing  what needs changed  in both my mind and my attitude—the only things I can change.  The second quote is telling me I don’t have to do those things  alone; I need to find God and surrender myself to God—-to travel a spiritual path in search of and with that God. In addition,  I need to clear up the “wreckage of the past” before I start my journey, and I need to freely share what I find once I start my journey.

I hope that last paragraph explains why I am here writing these blogs—-I am on a journey hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe,  and I need to share what I find. Thank you for reading what I share! Please leave comments about your thoughts about these two quotes and what they mean in your life.  Thanks, and may God bless and keep you.

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Yesterday I participated in a book study that examined various types of spiritual leaders.  That led me to thinking about the various types of “sponsors” in 12 step programs. Sponsorship (being a sponsor)  is a challenge to all of us in 12 step programs who are in recovery and trying empower those we sponsor to build a strong recovery. There are probably as many ways of sponsoring as there are sponsors.  Here are the major types I have encountered through the years:

• The Authority (dictator)
  • This type of sponsor establishes rigid rules and expectations for the sponsee (person being sponsored)  to follow and will refuse to sponsor the person unless the sponsee follows their directions to the letter.
  • Some people need specific instructions and someone to tell them what to do. Some people need authority, discipline and structure to establish a firm recovery—-especially when they are first in recovery and overwhelmed by withdrawal and subsequent cognitive difficulties.

• The “Whatever You Want”
  • This type of sponsor is the opposite of the dictator. These sponsors smile and reinforce whatever the newcomer/sponsee does. They are there to hold the hand of their sponsees when they relapse—-which happens often in a sponsorship within a vacuum without direction or structure.  The basic motivation for this type of sponsor seems to be people pleasing, and they want the approval of those they sponsor.
  • This type of sponsoring is not very helpful unless the sponsee is able to take initiative in planning and pursuing  their own recovery with little or no real help. Most people who seek a sponsor are so “worn down” by their disease process when they first enter recovery  that they lack the ability to have insight, to know what to do, and to take initiative to do it without more extensive help than that offered by this type of sponsor.

• The “Savior”
  • This type of sponsor expects to “fix” the sponsees—-to save them from themselves. They tend to jump right in and do as much as they can for their sponsees. They do not set healthy boundaries; they often allow their sponsees to live  with them, give their sponsees rides, buy groceries for their sponsees, etc. Their motivation seems to be “my sponsees will  get well if I do everything  for them while they are going through this tough time.”
  • This type of sponsor is also a people pleaser, and although they want  what is best for their sponsees, they deprive them of the opportunity to learn how to be responsible for themselves.  This type of sponsor tends to “own” responsibility for sponsee relapses and to feel guilty and as if they themselves have failed when their sponsees relapse.

• The ” Assertive Role Model”
  • This type of sponsor encourages recovery by working the 12 steps of recovery and showing their sponsees how to do so by example.  They will offer helpful suggestions and guidelines, but  do not tell their sponsees what to do unless asked. They  are motivated by the wish to help sponsees learn tools they can use to help themselves learn to follow a spiritual path of recovery with less and less need for direct sponsor intervention.
  • This type of sponsor is, in my opinion, the most effective type. With luck, it offers the best blend of teaching by example and offering  suggested guidelines for recovery. However, some people need more structure and direction when they are new in recovery. These people do not respond to this type of sponsor that well, and they would probably do better working with an authoritarian sponsor, at least at first.

I needed to write all this down this morning because one of my own sponsees has recently relapsed. My first  “knee jerk” response was to feel guilty because I had failed as a sponsor. I felt guilty  because I was not there to” prevent the relapse”.  Obviously, I need to work on not falling into the “savior” or “whatever you want” categories of sponsorship.  I am not responsible for another’s relapse. I am, however, responsible for trying to find a blend of sponsorship “tools” that will benefit individual  sponsees. My sponsorship style is  typically the “assertive role model” type—-but I obviously need to work more on emphasizing the assertive aspect with specific individuals who need more structure. I also need to escape from the trap of wanting my sponsee’s approval. I need  to help those I sponsor  explore what sponsorship style would be the best fit for them.

I apologize for today’s blog being  more focused on recovery  than spirituality;  but  then again, I think everything I said could also be applied to living a spiritual life and how to help others do so.

Please comment about today’s discussion. May God bless and keep you.