Image courtesy of Chaiwat/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Today’s blog is going to examine what sounds like a simple concept: “willingness.” Only it is not so simple. Personal change can never happen as long as we are not willing to change. I can want to lose 10 pounds with “all my might”, but until I am willing to do what it takes for that to happen it won’t. How many times have you or someone you know been lectured in the doctor’s office about quitting smoking, losing weight, bringing your cholesterol down, keeping your blood sugars level, exercising more, etc.? Health care professionals are wasting their breath unless the person needing the change starts being willing to do what it takes to make the change happen.
How do we get to this mysterious place where we are ready to entertain the idea of change? I know, for the most part, each of us has to hit our own unique “bottom” before we are willing to give up on fixing things ourselves and ask a power greater than ourselves for help. It is that moment of surrender that lets willingness in the door.
At this point, I think it will be helpful to share an extensive quote from Bill W. ( Anonymous, !967. As Bill Sees It , p. 122):
Willingness Is the Key
“No matter how much one wishes to try, exactly how can he turn his own will and his own life over to the care of whatever God he thinks there is?
A beginning, even the smallest, is all that is needed. Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more.
Though self-will may slam it shut again, as it frequently does, it will always respond the moment we again pick up the key of willingness.”
This quote tells me that unless I am willing to change—to turn things over to the God of my understanding—-then nothing will change. Right now I know I could lose ten pounds in the next month if I weighed and measured five small feedings every day and stuck to eating only specific proteins, vegetables, and fruits. But I am maintaining/gaining small amounts of weight rather than losing because I am not willing to turn my eating over to God at this point. I am enjoying the “freedom” of doing it my way. I am a diabetic, but surely I can be like other people and not gain weight as long as I don’t eat flour, starches, and sugar.
Wrong. I am a unique child of God. I need to trust God to know what is best for my health. Why should I be surprised that I need to follow a unique plan of eating to stay healthy? I cannot drink like other people. I cannot eat like other people. I can feel sorry for myself and sit moping on the “pity pot” all day long planning my next alcohol or food binge….or I can start to wonder what would it take for me to be willing to turn it all over to God again? And in just that moment of wondering, I am letting that key of willingness start to chip away at my self-will. Surely, I pray, I will not have to hit a “hard bottom” of suffering, sickness, and almost dying before I am willing to hand my eating over to God. I am eating foods that are healthy for me. I just don’t want to follow a strict regimen of eating specific foods at specific times for breakfast, lunch, mid-afternoon, dinner and bedtime snack. I’m tired of eating specific foods at five specific times. I am in a sort of “half-in and half-out” healthy eating limbo; I want to find a new, softer way of “eating healthy.” I want to “do things my way” just a little bit longer. And, as long as I do that, I will be slamming the door on the willingness that can lead to health and serenity.
I used my personal experience with my food addiction to illustrate how our mind and our rationalization can keep willingness—-the very thing that can help us—-from saving us from ourselves and our self-will. Willingness is the key to escaping any addiction or problem we may be experiencing. But we have to be willing to pick it up in order for the key to work.
Please comment about the concept of willingness and the role it has played in your life. May God bless and keep you.
Yes this is a pertinent topic for me and a point that has become more necessary to address. Early in my sobriety, I had more willingness. It was born from the fear of taking the first drink and relapsing into active alcoholism. Today, after 26 plus years of continuous sobriety, I find my willingness to have faded into partial complacency. Part of that may be good because I have learned to accept things about myself that I can’t change. Unfortunately, some of this is bad and I pray doesn’t become deadly. One way I can check my willingness is to see how well I’m following my sponsors direction. If I’m putting stuff off that he’s suggesting, which I am at this time, then I am lacking in willingness.
Thanks for the insight.
Blessed Season of Pentecost,
Father Alfred Jewson, Interim Rector
Christ Episcopal Church, Cape Girardeau, MO
Faith makes things possible ~ not easy!
I believe I make things easy or hard. even the smallest thing can be easy or hard. Start now even if it is small, for five minutes, for one minute. surrender to the need to start. make one change. Pray. Meditate. Exercise. Simple, for one minute. One minute leads me to 5 minutes kind of like driving a car. Get it out of park;put it in gear;and then step on the gas,gently. look both ways before pulling out into traffic. easy.but get out of park. Variety—go find it, pick a lane;>) but stay on the right side. Attitude can make the difference! My attitude makes my life easy or difficult, leads me to willingness or away from it.
It’s nearly impossible to find experienced people in this particular topic, however, you sound like you know what you’re talking about!
Thanks
Hello! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website before but after browsing through a few of the articles I realized it’s new to me.
Nonetheless, I’m certainly pleased I discovered it and I’ll be book-marking it and checking back frequently!
Thank you; I look forward to your return.
This text is worth everyone’s attention. How can I find out more?
Thank you. Perhaps going to cited text would provide additional information you would find helpful.
I am extremely impressed together with your writing abilities as smartly as with the structure
for your blog. Is this a paid topic or did you modify it yourself?
Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it’s uncommon to peer a great weblog like this one today..
I think you for complimenting my writing. No one pays me for what I write, I pick my own topics, and what I write is my own work except, of course, when I cite a paraphrased or quoted source.
Undeniably believe that which you stated. Your favorite
reason appeared to be on the net the easiest thing to be aware of.
I say to you, I definitely get annoyed while people consider
worries that they just do not know about. You managed to hit the
nail upon the top and also defined out the whole
thing without having side effect , people could take a signal.
Will likely be back to get more. Thanks
Thank you for your comments.
Nice post. I lesrn something new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon
every day. It’s always usefil to read articles from other authors and practice something from their web sites.
Thank you!