Addicted to God

Click on “Thesaurus” under the “Review tab” in word with the word “dependency”
highlighted and you will find addiction, reliance, need, habit, craving, and
enslavement listed as synonyms. Each Day a New Beginning (Casey, 1982) equates
dependency to attachment, to what controls us.

I have always thought of dependency being part of the disease “chemical
dependency,” and, obviously, the terms addiction, craving, and enslavement are
associated with that type of dependency.  The word “habit” can be associated
with both positive and negative attributes, depending on the habit in question.
The other synonyms have a more positive connotation in our society, and it is
these terms that will be the focus of today’s blog.
As people in recovery work their way through a spiritual journey guided by
the twelve steps  identified in AA’s “Big Book” they trade the negative
aspects of their dependency for the positive aspects of dependency. What was
addiction, craving, and enslavement becomes a need and, hopefully, a reliance
upon a higher power.

When I first started working in the addictions/recovery field, I was a very
naive psychiatric nurse. I thought any and all dependencies were wrong and
something to be avoided. This viewpoint was ironic because I was becoming
engulfed in at least two unhealthy dependencies at the time, I just did not know
it. My educated “ego” even thought of re-writing the “Big Book” so that it would
not teach dependency to its readers. Today, I am glad my journey has made my ego
“right-sized” and I can look back on those opinions and laugh…and be grateful
I didn’t try to re-write anything.

So, how has dependency become a healthy attribute in my life?  I have to follow
the steps outlined in the “Big Book”—-I have to believe in a power greater
than myself. In fact, I have to rely on that power to do for me and with me what
I cannot do for  myself or by myself—not just with my addiction but in all
areas of my life.  Yes, I need to depend on God on a day by day basis, and yes,
I can rely on God no matter what circumstances I am experiencing.
A friend once told me when I was lamenting about the absence of unconditional
love in my life the only place such love really exists is in our
relationship with God. I took that comment to heart; it is part of my soul and
being. It is part of the love I try to share with others.  Being in
love unconditionally with God is what heals me on a daily basis from all that
has been and is wrong in “me”—my body, mind, and spirit. It is what gives my
life meaning. It is that love that makes me both happy and grateful that I am
addicted to God.

Please comment. Thanks for being part of my reality. God bless and keep you.

I apologize for the formatting—-I have pushed every “button” I can find to try to “fix it” to no avail. 😦