blessings | Living One Day at a Time

Photo, “Wrinkles” by K. Farwell

Today has been quite a day! I learned something a new phrase, and every time the phrase goes through my mind, I start giggling because it sounds like the perfect line and maybe even title for a country western song. It would start out, “My retinas have wrinkles….” but past that I can’t come up with a good lyric. I do, however, find myself thinking “I must make amends” would work, but that was Janis and her friends back in the day.

Fortunately, my right eye had only one wrinkle and my left eye only several small ones. Why lucky? I was told that while having a few retinal wrinkles was “normal” having a lot meant serious eye surgery. While I was at the eye doctor’s we scheduled my cataracts surgeries. It was explained to me that I will have lenses put in my eyes that will allow me to see far, far away. Now, having never been able to do so, I really can’t imagine what it is going to be like. I will, the doctor explained, have to give up my close vision—–so gone will be my days of taking off my glasses to read or crochet. Instead I will put on reading glasses.

I may still need prescription glasses for far vision; there is no guarantee exactly how these surgeries will turn out. Sounds like a bit of a gamble, but any vision a new lens will give me has to be better than that given me by my own lenses without assistance. I think I could tolerate wearing “regular people” glasses rather than “coke bottle” glasses. And I am sure getting the prescription filled for those glasses wouldn’t cost the usual $500-600 my almost annual new glasses do.

And, then, for a mere $999 I can get correction for my right eye’s astigmatism built into the lens they will put in that eye. That correction has to be paid for out of pocket because Medicare and all insurance companies consider such a correction a luxury. However, if you’ve never been able to “really focus” on something, spending almost a thousand dollars seems worth it.

I haven’t seen any commercials on television yet for “wrinkles on your retinas”—–but I am sure the day will come. They’ll probably invent some miracle eye drops that are guaranteed to smooth them out over night or your money back. Enough foolishness. I am a bit anxious and have been using inferior jokes to deal with my anxiety. When the doctor first told me about my “retina wrinkles” I asked him what caused them—–obviously, I told him, they weren’t caused by sleeping on them the “wrong way.” That little tidbit of humor was ignored or culturally incomprehensible. God bless and keep you.

Image courtesy of Naypong,/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Everywhere I have gone today I have encountered the word “blessed.” Different meanings of the word blessed were talked about in our Sunday school class; those meanings included “happy,” “wonderful news” or “fortunate.” Then, once I had gotten home and eaten lunch, I read the material that had been electronically sent to those of us who participate in a Sunday afternoon 11th step focused study of Matthew’s “Beatitudes.” Of course, it was information about the various meanings of the word blessed.

In the Sunday school discussion, the beatitudes were presented as a proclamation Jesus made of how he was starting to create God’s kingdom on earth by turning things “upside down,” and the author of the book we were studying (Wright, N. T.,2002, Matthew for Everyone, Part 1, Louisville, KY: John Knox Press) emphasized that these “blessings” were not something we are rewarded with in heaven after we die for having lived the “right kind of life.” Instead, Wright points out that these blessings are present-tense blessings and suggests we should try living according to these principles in the present moment. He doesn’t specify how to do so, but I sure he means to live in a manner that helps create God’s kingdom in the present moment. I cannot imagine he means to purposefully become poor, hungry, persecuted, or look forward to mourning the death of someone you love.

According to Bob Towner (2014), the convener of the 11th Step Beatitudes Study Group, the blessings Jesus was addressing in what is traditionally thought of as the “Sermon on the Mount” were actually an invitation to search one’s inner self in order to find peace and happiness—–even in unhappy situations like those specified in the beatitudes. Towner’s spin on the meaning of the beatitudes suggests Jesus is actually “offering me [us] the choice of finding worthiness and benefit in attitudes and conditions which the world finds useless or shameful.” This means I need to apply what I encounter in my inner searching into changing my attitudes and behaviors accordingly.

So, I am faced with considering two different perceptions of the message Jesus was trying to give those who were listening—-as well as to those of us who are reading the account of what he said. They both seem to agree that they are more “here and now” than future focused. They both seem to agree that the “blessings” are in direct relationship with actions one must take to feel blessed in the present moment. I have experienced peace and happiness within my inner being when surrounded by the very things mentioned in the beatitudes, and practicing the 12 steps has taught me that much of my inner peace depends on changing my attitudes and actions.

I think I just figured out my take on all this. Blessings are something God gives to me if I am willing to seek them in a spiritual manner. They are not concrete, measurable rewards to be stacked up in heaven or here on earth. I don’t have to do things to make myself miserable in order to receive them. However, I would be the first to admit there have been times in the past when I was only able to find such blessings because I was miserable enough to surrender my will and to actively seek God’s will. Fortunately, I am learning to work on my “God seeking” skills, and I am much more able to realize and accept blessings now than I have been in the past; I am also fortunate that it doesn’t always take “hitting bottom” to motivate me to seek God and his blessings these days. Although I still work on changing my attitudes and behavior for the better, I still have lots of room for improvement.

So, when I close my blogs with “God bless and keep you,” I am not suggesting you just sit around and wait for God to drop blessings on your head. I am inviting you to actively seek those blessings and hoping you will find and express them in your attitudes and behavior. Although I would like my closing to be some sort of magical spell that guarantees my readers will be blessed and safely held in God’s arms, it is actually expressing my hope that you will actively seek, find, and share God’s love and the peace that “passes all understanding.” God bless and keep you.