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I absolutely hate having the clutter rearranged in my house while I am gone; when I come home nothing is where I left it. My well meaning friends have learned to put up sticky notes labeling containers and cabinets where they have tidily organized and stored things for me. Sometimes I find them years later; sometimes, I am convinced, I never find them which pretty well means I didn’t need them in the first place.

Thus, it should be no surprise to find out that a couple of Sunday’s ago my Priest shared something in church that really caught my attention. It was a beautiful poem about the work God does in our soul when he “carries the trash out” and fills our soul by replacing it with His love and serenity Karen Pilman (Accessed  September 3 2013 at http://www.contemplativeoutreach.org/article/poem-untitled).

The poem does an excellent job of describing the initial disorientation and discomfort associated with losing our habitual way of perceiving things and having it replaced by something new, different, and better. At first, it is irritating and scary to lose that to which we have become accustomed. Then, if we don’t go running back to our old ways of thinking and behaving, we realize what was problematic in our past has been replaced with the comfort of God’s love and constant presence. Once I  let myself feel and fully appreciate the comfort and security of being held in God’s arms as I walk my spiritual path of recovery,  the call of the “old and comfortable” cannot cause me to let go of God’s hand.

I am trying to locate the author of the poem to seek permission to print it in its entirety in my blog, but out of professional respect of one writer for another writer’s work, I will not do so until permission is granted. However, with the above cited link, you should be able to find and read the poem for yourself.

If this “just on the brink of being a hoarder” can gratefully allow God to slowly, one day at a time, do intensive reconstructive surgery on my soul so it can be filled with the Holy Spirit, then all things are possible. I don’t have to stack up piles and garbage bags of “old baggage” saved from my past. I don’t need it anymore. The beer cans, liquor bottles, junk food containers, cigarette rollers, papers, and the stuff you put in them have gratefully been thrown away. The self doubt, depression, self-centeredness, insecurities, and fears that have been my companions through the years can, and have, come down off the shelf to be tossed out with the trash also. When all that is no longer needed for the effective spiritual operation of my soul , both old and comfortable and old and uncomfortable, are removed from my mind and soul I can still find myself disoriented and uncomfortable at times. That is when I pause, take a deep breath, and take time to feel God holding my hand. Then I know nothing in this world or in my past can convince me to let go of His hand.

Please comment and share your thoughts about hoarding unnecessary baggage in your mind and soul and your thoughts about having  or having had God rearrange things. Thanks. May God bless and keep you.

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“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life, not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. ~ KHALIL GIBRAN”

Carmen, Allison  (2013-03-27). The Book of Maybe: Finding Hope and Possibility in Your Life (p. 19). CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform. Kindle Edition.

This quote reminds me of how I look at myself in the mirror—-with an attitude of seeing only what I hope the world sees rather  than what is really there. Seriously, this quote has gotten me to take a serious look at my life. Has my life been reality—–or only the reality my mind let me see? Can I change the way my mind looks at my reality to change my reality? I tend to think the answer to all these questions is “yes.”  All of my experiences have been real to me and part of my reality. However, I have seen an “attitude of gratitude” change someone from a victim to a happy survivor  too many times not to realize that looking at the glass as “half-full” rather than “half-empty” makes a real difference in whatever reality we experience.

But where this quote is leading me this afternoon is looking at my life as being “over two-thirds full” rather than being “two-thirds over.” The lessons my life has taught me are important ones to me. Like most people, I can see much more clearly retrospectively than I could at the time. In the past, I tended to invest in friendships and affairs of the heart based on perceived potential rather than reality. As a result, I learned you can waste months and years of your life trying to either change yourself to match another’s expectations or trying to change another to meet yours.

Now my mind looks at people and relationships differently. I no longer spend time focusing on “what’s in it for me” or “how can I make them happy so they will like me”—-both of these ways of relating to people were located at opposite ends of a ego-centered continuum that was not reality based. I now know I am responsible for my attitudes and my behaviors—–not someone else’s.

What I have learned to do as I’ve matured spiritually is to try to see people as they are….and myself as I am rather than as a reflection of the other’s person’s expectations. I try to focus on what that person needs; I try to see reality in the context of that person’s perspective. Creating a context of empathy gives me an idea of what, if anything, I can do to help them. I try to think about  what I can do to for them rather than what they can do for me. I do this because it is what God wants me to do—- and not to “earn”  their affection like I have in the past.

My mind experiences a different type of life when I am able to do this. Living other-centered and/or God-centered puts a whole new perspective on things. It feels wonderful not to have to worry about what impression I am making on others….and when I do feel that old self-conscious worry start to creep in, all I have to do is remind myself it is not about me. It is about sharing and being a channel for God’s love.

Another “life-perspective” change for me has been to try to ask myself what God wants me to learn from a situation rather than feeling scared, angry, or overwhelmed by the situation. I don’t always succeed, but I am making progress in this area. I know I am rambling, but I wanted to give you some idea of some of the major changes I’ve made recently in how my mind “looks at what happens” so that the spiritual quality of my life is greatly improved.

How does the way your mind looks at something influence your life? Please comment and share your ideas. May God bless and keep you.

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“The guidance we need for handling any difficulty, great or small, can only come into focus when w e remove the barriers to it, and the greatest barrier is our frantic effort to personally solve the problem.”

(Casey, K, 1991. Each Day A New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women,  2nd ed., Page for June 25, Center City, Minnesota: Hazelden)

Last night I participated in a book study discussion of how important it is to realize that AA’s program of recovery does not suggest we remove our character defects ourselves; instead it asks us to be willing to let the God of our choosing remove them.  Today I want to use the same philosophy only with a slightly different focus. Sure, my character defects (problematic personality traits) cause almost all of my problems—–things like needing to control things, needing to fix things, being a people pleaser and needing other people’s approval, etc.  But today, I want to focus on just ordinary, everyday run-of-the-mill problems. The above quote is what got me started thinking this way, but so were the comments made by people at last night’s meeting.

After all these years in recovery, I still expect myself to solve my own problems. And to do it perfectly so everyone is happy and everyone still loves me. I’ve managed to let go of most of the need to do it perfectly and making everyone happy all of the time. But, the belief that I have to do the solving myself is stubbornly persistent. I have learned to ask God for help, but I am usually asking God to help me to do  a better job of solving whatever problem is making my mind uncomfortable. What I heard last night, and what Casey’s quote is saying to me this morning has finally helped me realize surrendering something to God means  I have given it to Him to solve.

I don’t mean I’m going to start asking God to handle everything while I just sit passively by waiting for “a miracle” to occur. I do mean I am going to work at actually turning my problems over to God with the understanding that I will be helping Him do the solving and not Him helping me do the solving.

I’d written the introductory quote and about half of the first sentence of my commentary this morning when I got a call from a close friend. We talked about a problem we both would like to solve and fix. As much as we both would like to solve the problem, we can’t because we can’t change other people, persons, places, or things. We need to stop trying to solve it ourselves and turn it over to God. After we hung up, I could almost hear God saying, “See, this is what I was talking about. Let me handle it. I’m working on the solution in my own way and in my own time.” My friend and I will take a back seat, we will still “do the leg work” as we try to support God’s solution—but the outcome is, as it always has been, in God’s hands.

Please comment and share your thoughts about helping God solve things rather than trying to solve them by yourself. May God bless and keep you.

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As a nurse I know myself and many of my colleagues get caught up in our “caring instincts” and spend the majority of our lives focused on helping others. This is not a bad thing. However, sometimes we lose sight of the fact that unless we take care of ourselves and our own health we won’t be able to effectively  help others .

Anyone that is a “helper” or “care-giver” can get so wrapped up in helping another that he or she forgets how important  caring for oneself is. Of course, if we are incapacitated by illness we are forced to look at our own health, and it is obvious that we are in no position to help others. But this morning, I am being “led” to examine another way of helping that often gets blocked by my lack of self-care behaviors—-and that is helping others by example.

Here is what P., Bill; W., Todd; S., Sara (Sara (2009-06-03). Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects – Steps Six and Seven (p. 19). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.) have to say about helping: ” Helping others to stand, however, is not quite as meaningful as helping others learn to walk. Nor is it as meaningful as helping others find a direction and destination to walk toward. We help others by setting the example rather than telling them the example.” As I read this slowly this morning, I found myself “mentally nodding” my agreement with what it has to say about helping someone to stand and to walk. What  really hit me in the proverbial “gut” though was the importance of teaching by example rather than with just our words. This truth isn’t just for nurses—I think it is important for everyone to realize the impact one’s example has on others.

If I am working with someone who is a Type 2 diabetic and desperately needs to lose weight, I can say and do “all the right things” to motivate them to lose weight but if I am obese myself there is a good chance they won’t pay attention to what I am saying.  Likewise, In terms of recovery, if I am trying to help “newcomers” to understand that once they have stopped drinking or using it is essential for them to begin practicing spiritual principles in their lives but do not show them how by example, my poor example will speak louder than my words.  When what we say and do are not congruent our effectiveness in helping others is adversely affected.

The good news about setting an example is you don’t have to do it perfectly; you just have to try to do it  to the best of your ability. Taking care of our own health begins with willingness to change. Willingness (motivation) is often the hardest part of the change process, so much so that most interventions in addictions medicine today focus on helping someone’s motivation level to change rather than on the perfect, complete change of the targeted behavior.

I need to willing to do what it takes to change my behavior to nurture my own physical and spiritual  health. Some days my willingness to change is fully present; it wanes on others. However, in terms of self-care, I have learned a new “truth” in one of my book-study groups:  “The fact that I will daily question my willingness to change will increase my ability to be increasingly willing” (P., Bill; W., Todd; S., Sara, 2009-06-03, Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects – Steps Six and Seven, p. 18,. Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition).

I know, that last quote is a bit difficult to understand….at least it has been for me. I have had to read it over and over again. To me it means when I question my willingness to practice healthy behaviors it brings me one step closer to being motivated to actually start trying to change whatever needs to be changed. The key is awareness, breaking free of the “business” of my daily routines, considering myself and my own health, and questioning whether I am willing to “practice what I preach” in all aspects of my life. Sometimes I don’t like the answer, but at least I know I am making progress in the right directions just by being aware and questioning my own motivation.

Please comment and share your ideas about helping others by helping yourself. May God bless and keep you.

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Yesterday’s conference that I attended was about “Holy Dying.” I know that sounds a bit odd for a title, but the conference was full of spiritual wisdom.

One of the “take home” things I brought home with me was a list of “5 Regrets Dying People Often Have”  from a presentation given by a hospice nurse:

1. “I should have lived life for myself rather than focusing on living up to the expectations of others.”
2. “I should not have worked so hard.”
3. “I should have had the courage to express my feelings more often.”
4. “I wish I’d not lost touch with my friends.”
5. “I  wish I’d ‘lived happier.'”

Really thinking about those five things emphasizes one of the main points of yesterday’s conference: that a life well lived is the best preparation for death. It is important to live in the moment in the reality of the “here and now.” We are experiencing a precious gift, and we often take it for granted and miss the miracle inherent in being part of God’s creation. A speaker at the conference also said that if we are ready to die at any moment, then we are ready to fully live at any moment. The way the presenters were talking about living in the moment reminded me of the importance recovering people put on living one day at a time because today is the only reality we have at the moment.

Looking at the list of “regrets, ” I realize 12 step recovery programs help people form supportive, healthy relationships with friends, to live more “serenely” or “happily”, and to express their feelings during the course of sharing at 12 step meetings and also when actively working the programs 12 steps.

Another “take home” bit of information from this conference had to do with understanding the “work of dying” a person needs to do —–things that need to be said by the dying person.

These were:

1. ”I forgive you”
2. “Do you forgive me?”
3. “Thank you.”
4. “I love you.”
5. “Goodbye.”

If we always said these things to the people we love and are close to—–if we lived each moment as if we were dying—-wouldn’t we be living much better in the present moment? I think AA’s 12 steps help people in recovery do the work necessary to give and get forgiveness and  to say thank you. Their way of expressing love and saying goodbye, at least in this region of the country, is to say the Lord’s Prayer.

What am I trying to say with all of this? It is important to live the present moment “mindfully” with as much awareness as you can, it is important to communicate feelings, to forgive and be forgiven, to tell people you love them and to not assume you will always have time to “do it in the future.” The other main point I am trying to make, and it is an important one for me personally, is people in recovery are lucky enough to have a “recipe for living” embedded in following the 12 steps that makes living each day as if you were dying a bit easier for them.

Please comment and  share your thoughts about “living and dying well.” Thank you. God bless and keep you.

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Last night in a book study meeting we heard a story I want to share with you this morning. In this story, a man is searching frantically for a lost set of car keys. A friendly cop comes by and offers to help look for the keys. Finally, after looking and looking, the cop asks him if he was certain this was where he had lost his keys.  The man answered the cop with a resounding “no”—-explaining that he had dropped them several yards over from where they’d been looking. Seeing the cop’s exasperated and quizzical expression, the man further explained he was afraid to look where he’d actually dropped his keys  because he had a fear of dark places and  it was too dark for him to look for them there (Bill P., Todd W., & Sara, S., 2005, Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects Step Six and Seven, p. 16).

This story, much like Christ’s parables, is rich with meaning that we can apply to our lives. Looking back over the years, I realize I spent way too much time “looking” for insight into myself in “all the wrong places”—–the places I was already cognizant of and with which I had a certain degree of comfort. I avoided the areas that were “hidden in darkness”—-probably because I was afraid of what I might find. It is hard to truly face oneself, and working a twelve step program of recovery is dependent on the willingness to do just that.

From a psychiatric perspective, I also believe some of the “hidden in darkness” tidbits of “self-knowledge” were hidden from my conscious awareness to protect my ego from anxiety. Either way—whether done intentionally or unconsciously— those parts of myself that were at the roots of my “problems” were safely tucked away in my interior “darkness” so that I would not have to face them and work through them. Years of intermittent therapy sessions as well as week after week and year after year of “working the program” in recovery still left those “hidden in darkness” aspects safely insulated and hidden in the darkest, most “safely-guarded” core of my inner-self. Oh, sure, I was vaguely aware of them and would give them brief, superficial “lip service” when recounting them is therapy sessions or in the process of “working the steps” of recovery, but I avoided facing them  on a genuine, “gut-wrenching,” in touch with feelings level.

These past two years have given me life experiences and a new way of “peeling the layers of the onion back”  (centering prayer) that have allowed me to face some of what was once hidden from me.  I always trusted that God would reveal to me what I needed to know when I was strong enough to handle it. God was patient, and he waited until He had helped me grow spiritually to the point that I have indeed been able to face some of my inner “demons.” Consequently I have been relieved of the associated issues and “bondage of self” that accompanied them. For example, during a centering prayer session, God brought me face to face with my deceased maternal grandfather so that I could tell him I forgave him for what he did to me when I was four years old,  that I loved him, and that I would, however,  not forget what he’d done. This “vision,” “meditative trance,” or whatever you want to call it, gave my soul peace of mind that it had not felt before. I am eternally grateful that I experienced this as for me it was a life-changing miracle.

I now know God helps me find what I need to find when I am ready to find it—whether it be hidden in darkness or “in plain sight.” I now have less fear, and I can now look at some of those “dark spots” with courage grounded in knowing God is holding my hand as I confront whatever is hidden there.

The book we were studying last night also said awareness is essential if we want to be willing to have God remove “defective components” inherent in how we relate to others and live our lives. I am making progress in being willing to be aware, in light or darkness, of what I need to change or surrender to God because I know God is with me as I journey forward.

What are your thoughts about having the courage to confront what has been safely hidden from self-awareness? How is doing so related to your spirituality? Please comment.

May God bless and keep you.

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This young man looks overwhelmed; and, I must admit, that I have certainly felt this way many times. However, I have learned that these moments are usually meant to teach me something important. Perhaps this quote will explain what I mean a bit better:

“We can be assured, our higher power is caring for us. Each breath we take is Spirit-filled, and the plan for our lives is an accumulation of necessary experiences that are helping us to grow and develop our special talents. What we often forget is that the difficult periods of our lives stretch us, enlighten us, ready us to be the women we desire within to be” (Casey, K., 1982, Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women, Page for July 16).

This paragraph from Karen Casey’s book of daily meditations for women reminds us of two important things:

• One, that our  hardest, most difficult  experiences help shape us into the person God wants us to be
•  Each and every breath we take is filled with God’s spirit

At times, I find myself getting mired down in thinking about the “what if’s” of my life—-what if I hadn’t done this, what if this hadn’t happened, why couldn’t I fall in love and live happily ever after like some people are lucky enough to do, why don’t I have children, etc. The list can go on and on, and I can sink deeper and deeper into regret and eventually depression.  What I have to do at those times is redirect my mind from the “what ifs” to the “thank Gods.” God didn’t give me the things I wanted; God gave me the things I needed to become what I need to be to fulfill Creator’s will.

As I did my “God point me to the right page” with the “magical opening” of several books this morning, they all seemed to be  taking me to pages that talked about two things: the importance of learning from our mistakes and using them to build us into people who can use their “life’s wounds” to empower them to be more empathetic and helpful to others and the importance of living in the present moment rather than regretting our past or worrying about the future. I know that these were the messages God wanted me “to get” and to share this morning.

Now, about that “every breath we take” bit. God created us by “breathing” His breath into us, and that gift is re-gifted with every breath we take. That may just sound like a bunch of “fancy words” to some of you, but I have, at times, in the past had to fight for every breath I took. Since then, I no longer take God’s gift of breath for granted. What I am coming to appreciate more and more, however, is the fact that not only is  this gift the  “breath” my “life”—- it is also God sharing His Spirit with me so that I, in turn, can share that Spirit with others.

So, the next time you feel like God has given you more than you can handle or you get angry about or hurt by something, stop and ask yourself what lesson God wants you to learn from what you are experiencing and how you can use that to share God’s Spirit with others. Don’t worry about not having enough Spirit to give away; God will give you another breath.

Please comment about how “bad experiences” can be used to help us learn what we need to in order  to do God’s will and share His love and/or how our own “portion” of God’s Spirit is constantly being renewed  or released within us. God bless and keep you.

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You know the feeling. Some call it “getting goose bumps”—-others feel gentle tears well up and escape the corners of their eyes. Maybe it happens in the midst of singing the words of a beloved hymn; maybe it happens when you remember what it felt like when you first knew—- really knew that God loves you. Maybe it “hits you” when you are outside looking at something beautiful that takes your breath away or calms your soul.

I am talking about the Holy Spirit….something mysterious, magical, and very, very real. I love the way Richard Rohr describes it in his new book:

“We are always waiting for the Holy Spirit—somehow forgetting that the Spirit was given to us from the very beginning. In fact, she was ‘hovering over the chaos’ in the very first lines of Genesis 1:2, soon turning the ‘formless void’ into a Garden of Eden…..We cannot sense the Spirit, just as we cannot see air, silence, or the space between everything. We look for God out there and the Spirit is always in here and in between everything. Now even science is revealing to us that the energy of the universe  is not in the particles of planets—but in the relational space between them! And we are having a hard time measuring it, controlling it, or inhibiting it.  It sounds an awful lot like Spirit.”

(Rohr, 2013, Yes, And…Daily Meditations, p. 96)

I have always been gifted with the ability to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit; for me it is something that “just happens”—-it is certainly not something I can summon or control. I like the image of it always being in between everything, always hovering, always “being” within relational space, and I love the fact that it cannot be measured or “sensed” with our usual senses, but rather our “sixth sense.”

What is described in today’s quote is very comforting to me because it reminds me that the Holy Spirit is everywhere and in all things. Therefore, it is always with me and a part of me. It is in between the spaces of the atoms and molecules, the synapses, and the DNA chains that make up my human body. It is in every object that surrounds me wherever I go. It is part of how all these things relate to form our reality.

Being a psychiatric nurse, one of the things I like most about the Holy Spirit being about “relational space” is I’ve spent a life time focusing on helping people be aware of themselves and how they relate to others…..with an emphasis being put on “healthy relationships.” I like to think the Holy Spirit has always been a part of that too. I think perhaps the best way we can be aware of the Holy Spirit is by experiencing it in the relationships we have with each other. This belief reminds me that I constantly need to be attentive to allowing the Holy Spirit’s influence to be “tangible” in my relationships and actions with other people. I don’t have to wait for the Holy Spirit to do that as she, as Father Rohr implies, is always hovering there, but I do need to be aware of that fact so that I and my actions can be a better conduit for God’s love.

What are your thoughts about the Holy Spirit and the part it has played in your life? Please comment and share your opinions about this topic. Thank you; may God bless and keep you.

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Grace Slick is credited with saying, “No matter how big or soft or warm your bed is, you still have to get out of it”(Warner, C. 1992, Treasury of Women’s Quotations,p.188). I don’t know why this quote seems profound to me this morning. Perhaps it seems so because the image of a big, soft, and warm bed sounds inviting.  However,  having on occasion been in such beds, I know if my mind and soul are not at peace I can toss and turn and have trouble sleeping on them just as I would were I sleeping on an old Army surplus cot.

One of the messages speaking to me this morning from this quote is I need to practice good “soul hygiene” and stay in daily contact with God in prayer and meditation.  If I forget this important responsibility before attempting to sleep, God has a way of reminding me. At such times my mind just keeps “going in circles” trying to solve a problem and worrying about what I cannot control. My restless mind will not let me sleep if I don’t remember to meditate, pray, and surrender my will.

Another message from Gracie’s quote for me this morning is that  addiction may seem like a warm and soft cocoon with all the comforts of home, but we will be eventually be forced out of that cocoon either by choice (seeking and maintaining recovery) or by life threatening or terminal consequences of addiction. The good news is if we exercise our new wings once we have broken free of the cocoon we can, with practice, learn to fly. Thus,  by practicing the 12 steps we gain the ability to live and grow spiritually which is, for humans, akin to flying.

But what if we don’t exercise our new butterfly wings? What if we build another cocoon of complacency in “pseudo-recovery” by going through the superficial motions of attending meetings, talking the talk, etc., without really putting the steps of recovery into practice? Sadly, we will have to leave that warm and soft bed too.  There are multiple cocoons recovering people can get lost in after abstaining from drinking or from their drug of choice; they can cross addict to other addictive substances or behaviors. We have been so used to trying to do things “our way” and looking for an “easy out”  that we are quite capable of finding countless ways to avoid working at exercising our “spiritual wings.”

When we work the spiritual steps of recovery and exercise our spiritual wings one day and moment at a time we  find being co-pilots with God allows all sorts of magical  and  wonderful things to happen in our lives.  They will continue to happen providing we persist in actively practicing the steps of recovery suggested by twelve step programs.

So, go ahead and get out of that bed. Don’t wait until you have an emergency, are dying, or are otherwise forced to “hit bottom” and change your ways. Do it now. Do it voluntarily. Acknowledge God is an integral part of your heart, soul, and life…..work on developing those spiritual wings and experiencing the joy of flying hand in hand with Creator.

What is your reaction to Grace Slick’s comment about having to get out of our beds no matter how comfortable they may seem? Please comment. May God bless and keep you.

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According to Kierkegaard, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it  must be lived forwards” (Kierkegaard, S.,  1960, The Diary of Soren Kierkegaard, Sect. 4, #136 , ed. by Pete Rhode, 1843 entry).  Now that I have lived over six decades I can see the wisdom in this statement. I doubt that I would have when I was in my twenties. Sometimes in recovery meetings you will have twenty people there, sixteen of whom have only days to a few months of “being clean”, and the other four or so will be “old timers” with years to decades of recovery.  The newcomers, many times, are young and still residents of treatment centers.

At first glance, it seems like an odd mix of people. Obviously, they hopefully have a desire to stop drinking or using in common—-but what else would make such a diverse group functional?  I imagine some of the young new comers, once they leave the meeting, talk amongst themselves and ask “Why would we want to listen to those old folks? And “old-timers” are often asked why they keep going back to meetings year after year and decade after decade.  Even others in recovery ask the “old timers” what they get out of those “beginner meetings”….how can it possibly help your recovery, don’t you need to be in meetings with people who have “good recovery?”

I think the quote from Kierkegaard helps explain why beginner meetings work. You need the backwards vision/wisdom of the old-timers and the future-oriented “excited to begin to hope again” perspective of new comers to balance the meeting content out so that a realistic perspective is provided. Old timers need to remember the pain and agony that first brought them to recovery, and beginners need to know there is hope and that recovery can be attained and kept through the years.

Chittister (1999, In Search of Belief, p.75) has written, “Perspective is a powerful tool. It can also be a deceptive one. Once we come to understand a thing, we often fail to see it as it really is, as it was when first we experienced it. Once understanding comes, we seldom see a thing the same way again. We read back into it what has, over time, become clear but which we did not recognize at the beginning. We begin to be enamored of it in ways that had no meaning at its outset.” These words, too, help explain why a mixture of those new to recovery and those well grounded in it benefit from each others’ experiences and perspectives.

At the time, Chittister was writing about the experience of believing in Jesus Christ, but her words also accurately describe what happens in twelve step meetings. Those with years of recovery have begun to read insight and wisdom into their memory of “before recovery” and when they first entered recovery. The words of newcomers bring back the pain, trigger memories, and help improve the accuracy of the old timer’s perspective of “what it was like and what happened” before they entered “what it is like now.” In the beginning, hitting bottom and having to surrender to a power higher than yourself is miserable, painful, scary, and full of shame. Only later does it become, in memory, that glorious moment when you surrendered your will to the God of your understanding and began growing spiritually.

What are your thoughts about how the perspectives of both “young and old” can work together to give us a more accurate perspective of our reality, our past, and our future? God bless and keep you.