Well, it finally happened. At the end of lecture today in my class I asked if there were any other questions—–and when I called on the brave student who raised her hand, I was asked: “Do you know you are wearing shoes that don’t match?” Both feet were enclosed in brown stressed leather clogs lined with fleece, both had the same middle seam stitched down the top of the shoe for decorative purposes—-but each had a slightly different cut and strap. You can imagine what a laugh that got; I could only laugh at myself and tell them I could say I was “stylin'” like they do these days with miss-matched socks, only I was doing it with shoes.

I have another confession. I have spent an hour now trying to find some meaningful quote about the role laughter plays in spirituality and in recovery and I can’t find it. I know it is there. I know I have read it somewhere, but I can’t find it. So, you are going to get my ideas on this topic.

In terms of spirituality, laughter at oneself can be a form of prayer. Life can take a matter of self-centeredness and ego within the context of an experience, show you the absurdity of the situation, and ultimately cause the spontaneous  release of laughter. Maybe it is just a little giggle. Maybe it is a full, deep belly-laugh. Either way, that laughter, for me, is the release of my self-centered ego—-laughter is literally letting go of that bit of ego and releasing it to God.

How was laughter a form of prayer for me this afternoon at the end of class? Well, here’s what snared my “ego.” I had ridden up to the third floor in the elevator with our new Dean, I walked into my class a minute late to introduce my guest speaker—-and the Dean was seated in the classroom; he was there to evaluate my guest speaker’s presentation. I ended the class a couple of hours later with a quick summary of how to respond therapeutically to an angry patient—-among other things, this included how to speak with matter-of-fact authority to deescalate the anger and communicate you have control of the situation. Then I’m told my shoes don’t match. My ego, evidently, had thought for some reason it needed to impress our new Dean. Then, my ego thought it had done a good job of showing how to control a dangerous situation. Then my ego had to get over itself and let me laugh, because miss-matched shoes aren’t likely to give a good impression to anyone or to communicate you are in control of a situation. I had to laugh because it wasn’t “all about me” —not at the beginning, during,  or at the end of the class. It was about learning, about the students, and about my classroom guests. In that instant of being comfortable laughing at myself amidst my students’ laughter I released my false pride to God, and I was able to see the humor of the situation, and to appreciate God’s sense of humor.

How did my laughter relate to my recovery? My spontaneous laughter was an outward sign of having grown enough spiritually in recovery to the point that I could  instantaneously acknowledge my character defect of false pride, accept the reality of the situation, and laugh at it from the a “right-sized” perspective. Of course, since I seem to be bragging about all this, false-pride must still be one of my deeply-rooted character defects. To be honest, I was embarrassed to be wearing miss-matched shoes. The good news is I got over it quickly and am now, in retrospect, able to see spirituality and recovery even within the context of this example of ordinary, everyday life.

What role does laughter play in your spirituality and recovery? Please comment and share your thoughts. May God bless and keep you.

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Today in an 11th Step Centering Prayer group I was introduced to the Hindu/Sanskrit greeting of  “namaste” (Nah-muh-STAY). It is a spoken greeting accompanied by the particular action of holding your palms together in the front of your heart and bowing your head towards the person you are greeting. So, of course I had to go online to find out how to spell the word, how to say it, and more about what it means. Perhaps the best and most easily understood definition of namaste  I found (and it very closely matched what our leader told us in today’s group) was this: Namaste is “an ancient Sanskrit greeting still in everyday use in India and especially on the trail in the Nepal Himalayas. Translated roughly, it means ‘I bow to the God within you’, or ‘The Spirit within me salutes the Spirit in you’ – a knowing that we are all made from the same One Divine Consciousness.”

(accessed 10/1913 at http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Namaste)

Of  course, my  favorite quote about it comes from Gandhi:

” Namaste. I honour the place in you where the entire universe resides… a place of light, of love, of truth, of peace, of wisdom. I honour the place in you where when you are in that place and I am in that place there is only one of us. ”

Source: Mohandas K. Gandhi as cited on web-page accessed on 10/19/13 at http://www.wisdomquotes.com/quote/mohandas-k-gandhi-1.html

What I love about the practice of namaste is it acknowledges the spiritual God essence in every human being. It acknowledges I and whomever I meet are one within God’s creation.  I need to be reminded about this. Often. This greeting reminds me to operate from my heart rather than my head and to respect God’s creation in myself and in others. It keeps my “head and heart” in the right place, right-sized, and right-focused. I wish we would adopt its use in our culture.

How can I communicate the same thing in my culture? With a smile, an offer to help, holding a door open, or giving a friendly nod? Would my intent to  acknowledge God within all humans be effectively communicated? I doubt it. Perhaps one way for me to show this type of mutual spiritual respect is to keep quiet, listen, and not finish other people’s sentences for them—–an irritating habit I have in spite of  my efforts to avoid doing so.

I am going to try practicing namaste “in my mind’s eye” when I meet others in the next few days. When I am home I may actually use the greeting when greeting the four dogs that so often greet me with love and respect—-after all,  I believe the universe described by Gandhi resides in animals as well as humans. It should be an interesting experiment. I will also do so when walking towards the full length mirror at the end of my home’s hallway…..this will teach me to acknowledge and respect the “God essence” within myself.

Please comment and share your thoughts about this Hindu practice and its application to living one day at a time. May God bless and keep you.

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On Tuesday I opened a letter from the Federal Government. I didn’t know if they were writing to tell me they were no longer operational, were going to take away or decrease my social security, or just wanted to tell me the price of stamps was going up again.  I experienced a “reality slap” when I discovered my very own Medicare card in the packet they’d sent me.  Although I have over three months before I hit that big “65” milestone, receiving my own Medicare card was still a reminder that one day at a time I am aging.

Perhaps that guided the selection of the daily bible verse I made for my church’s Face Book page this morning:
“My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

PSALM 73: 26 (NKJV)

I know I am aging, and I know my society frowns on that part of living. In fact, my culture seems to view aging as an illness that can be cured if you use the correct make-up, hair dye, weight loss program, and exercise program—–and have multiple age-defying plastic surgeries. One would think it was a crime to have wrinkles around your eyes that show the world you have smiled a lot during your life time. I always told people I’d be proud of my wrinkles when they came—-that I wanted them to show a happy person of long-standing. Now that they have actually arrived on the scene, it is a bit harder to feel that way. However, painful as my joints, etc. can be, I am still very grateful to be aging as it is far better than the alternative. I realize God still has work for me to do one day at a time.

Do I believe this old lady can change the world?  No, of course not. But I can create ripples and stitches of kindness and compassion that are sorely needed in our world today. God’s work, for me, is like crocheting. Sometimes I don’t understand the pattern I’m following or where it is taking me. I have no idea what the finished product will look like, but I need to follow the pattern if I wish to achieve the desired result. In crocheting, the finished result is often better than I had imagined. I believe God’s outcome will be awesome; I am just not able to imagine or know what God’s “Tapestry of Time” will look like when it is finished.

Enough rambling for this morning. This will be a short entry as I have to go visit the Social Security folks (if they are open) and have them explain what I am supposed to do with /about the packet they sent me as their printed instructions were unclear even for a nurse with a PhD.  Please comment and share your thoughts about today’s blog entry. May God bless and keep you.

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In  As Bill See s It (Alcoholics Anonymous, As Bill Sees It, p. 106, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.: New York) one of its co-founders had this to say about what humility: “Perfect humility would be a full willingness, in all times and places, to find and to do the will of God.” In contrast, Golda Meir has been cited as having said, “Don’t be humble; you’re not that great” ” (Warner, C., 1992, Treasury of Women’s Quotations, p. 279, Englewood Cliffs NJ: Prentice Hall). Well, now I’m confused. I admire and respect both of these people’s opinions. Where does the real truth about humility lie?

Personally, I tend, on a good day, to gravitate towards Bill’s definition of perfect humility. My problem lies in the word “perfect”—because I am not always able to meet that standard. On the days I am not willing to seek and follow God’s will, then I am sure my practice of humility would come nearer to matching Golda Meir’s quote. I have heard people speak about their humility with a notable sense of pride. When I am that person—-in my thoughts or spoken words—then I do need to tell myself I am not that great. The Encarta Dictionary built into this laptop says humility is the “quality of being modest or respectful.” Golda seems to be losing this “debate.”

So, now I have to bite the bullet and start writing about what humility means to me. I will start by explaining what I have learned it does not mean. It does not mean belittling or shaming yourself, having a poor self image, being “less-than”, unworthy, without merit or any other self-depreciative concept or term. I have come to believe humility is a form of respect (including self-respect) and modesty (AA’s Big Book calls this “being right-sized”).  That is why I know Bill is right—-I cannot be right-sized if I am trying to play God and follow my own stubborn, false-pride driven direction. I can only be “right-sized” when I surrender to God and realize I am human, made in God’s image, but not God. God is in control; I am not. With that realization and the suggestions inherent in the 12 steps, I have learned that I also have to seek and follow God’s will if I want to grow spiritually and remain “right-sized” and humble.

Part of being humble is being “other-focused” rather than “self-focused.” The moment things start “being all about me” I know I have let go of God’s hand and jumped off the boat into the sea of self-will run riot. At those times I blindly thrash about seeking to grab hold of anything I can that will feed my starved ego which is desperately seeking anything (accomplishment, compliments, attention, etc.) that can feed its expansion. Eventually, this “swelling balloon of false pride” feeds itself to the point of  once again bursting, and I grab hold of God’s hand which has remained outstretched reaching for me all along.

I am very much interested in what you, my readers, have to say about what the concept of humility means in your lives. Please comment and share your thoughts on this topic. May God bless and keep you.

News flash from this morning’s adult formation class: God is a spirit and as such is not male or female! Maybe Native Americans who refer to God as Great Spirit and Creator have had the right idea all along. Throughout the Bible (written by male dominated societies) God is referred to as “He.” God was always a “He” in Sunday School and in Church. Some feminists (myself among them at times) have referred to God as She—–or to the Holy Spirit as She. As our priest this morning put it, it was the human aspect of Christ that had gender—-not the God aspect.

A second highlight was that God is love (yes, I heard that in Sunday School as a child)—-and, as love, loves everyone equally. That means God loves you, me, Hitler, Charles Manson, and members of Congress. Equally. That one is a bit hard to swallow. But, if I,  as a Christian, am supposed to love as Christ and God love us, then it follows that I should love everyone equally also. Personally, I am still working on that one,  but I have made slight progress.

So, this “Power Greater than Myself” introduced to me by the 12 Steps has no specific shape, appearance, or gender. Perhaps more importantly, the gift of that power’s love is freely give to anyone and everyone. We as humans, don’t often understand love—-and we almost always attach strings to it. But if we could adopt a bit of this wonderful, indiscriminate “God-like” love into our repertoire of personal characteristics, what a better place this world would be!

The good news (the Gospel) is that each of us is given the gift of God’s love—-even if we are an addict, an alcoholic, a school teacher, a member of Congress, a President, a dictator, a priest, a professor, an infant, an elder, etc.  That love does not have to be earned, and it is unconditional—-no matter what. I think the Gospel’s message also tells me I need to be a conduit for God’s indiscriminate, unconditional love. That’s the part, as I mentioned earlier, I am still working on practicing on a 24/7 basis.

The 12 step message of healing through surrender, accepting God’s help, accepting responsibility for our actions, making reparation when possible and non-hurtful, being aware of and accountable for our actions, maintaining a personal daily relationship with God, and giving God’s healing love to others through service is an excellent recipe for us humans to follow if we want to “become and share”  God’s love, compassion, and forgiveness with others.

So, next time you pray—-realize you are talking to an all powerful “Great Spirit” without shape or gender comprised of incomparable love freely shared with you along with the hope you will “pass it on” to your fellow humans. It is all about love—-receiving it and giving it.  Please comment and share your ideas about God as love——given, received, and passed on to others. May God bless and keep you.

I just read an account of two friends discussing a sunset. The differences in their perspectives is worth thinking about, so I am going to share a  quote of their conversation with you:

 After dinner Saturday night, Lisa suggested we go out on her balcony overlooking the inlet waters. “Don’t you love sunsets?” she asked. “I watch them every night.” Sure, the colors were gorgeous— violet and flaming orange surrounded by a coppery glow. “It’s pretty, but I’ve always preferred sunrises. Sunsets mean the day is done, no more time to accomplish everything I should have handled today. Don’t you ever feel that way?” “No, never.” Lisa looked at me with ocean-blue eyes. “I see sunsets as God smiling at me at the end of the day. Whatever I didn’t get done, He’s big enough to hold on to for me.”

Editors, Guideposts (2012-10-01). Daily Guideposts 2013 (Kindle Locations 3360-3366). Guideposts Books. Kindle Edition.

This one paragraph of dialogue conveys, for me, how different my life can be when I stop trying to control things, stop basing my self-esteem on what I am able to accomplish, and  surrender, relax, and trust God. Doing so opens up a whole new way of seeing things; what was once viewed as a problem or an obstacle can now be viewed as an opportunity to learn and to grow—or to just relax and enjoy the moment. Now I can let God guide me through difficult times rather than “drag me kicking and screaming.” What a difference changing my perspective can make!

For example, yesterday I was frustrated by the uproar and chaos created by a Hollywood filming crew as they worked on one of Ben Affleck’s scenes. The scene they were shooting was right outside my church, and they filmed it while I was supposed to be teaching a crafts class to neighborhood women in the church parish hall. I had to park blocks away from our own church, walk to the church, and  “discuss/argue” with four police/ security officers before they allowed me to go around to the back of the church and let people in through the back door.

I still don’t know why the scene of the actor parking his car and getting out of it had to be repeated so many times. If I ever see this movie, it definitely won’t be déjà vu when I see first a navy car and then a silver car driving south just before Ben Affleck drives a black vehicle from the other direction,  enters the  “North Carthage Police Department” parking lot, parks, and climbs out of his vehicle. The most exciting part of the whole thing was seeing how skilled Mr. Affleck was at quickly backing out of the parking lot and driving backwards back down the street. Getting to see a movie star accelerating through a 4-way stop intersection in reverse is not something you see every day in Cape Girardeau. Wonder what would happen if I tried it?

I am making a joke out of it now, but all those movie people were in my way yesterday, and they just irritated me. My “plan” for the afternoon was being threatened by these “outsiders.” When I finally got in the church, most of the people who had already gotten there had pulled up the church blinds and were frantically taking pictures of what was going on outside. That added to my irritation. When I finally surrendered my need to control the situation, my need to lead a therapeutic group, and started trying to see what was happening with the “surrender, relax, let God” perspective I calmed down immediately.

We got those who wanted to work on crafts set up working on their projects, served coffee, and just let people do what they wanted. Some watched the movie chaos the entire time. Once I relaxed, I was able to get a cup of coffee, find a small, private window in a cupboard in the parish hall kitchen, and take some “church photos” for our church Facebook site. We may now be the only church with a Facebook Cover featuring a filming crew breaking down a set, Ben Affleck, and Ben Affleck’s double walking in front of our church, fake news trucks, etc. —all surrounding our church.

So, instead of seeing all this movie “hoopla” as a major inconvenience to my church and the people who live near where they are filming, I started working on tryint to see things differently. Making a major movie like this brings money into our small town’s challenged economy. If this major film company has a positive experience, my small town  may establish a positive reputation with Hollywood  as a friendly, nice place to film a movie with little expense. It provides entertainment for us locals. It is like being part of a parade whether I want to or not. Perhaps what happened yesterday was God’s way of telling me to relax and enjoy what was happening. I am lucky I was able to smile, say a quick “thank you”  to God, and finally start enjoying the parade in spite of myself.

Please comment and share your stories of how things have gone better for you when you stopped trying to control things. May God bless and keep you.

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Thomas Keating has explained core emotional needs for “security, power, and affection” (Keating,  2009,  Divine Therapy & Addiction: Centering Prayer and the Twelve Steps ,p. 7, Kindle Edition, New York: Lantern Books) are what drives us to seek happiness from other persons, people, places or things. He explains these instinctual emotional needs are necessary for survival as an infant but they become increasingly problematic as we mature. If we stay in the infantile state of always wanting immediate gratification we will always be frustrated in our pursuit of desires that are impossible to actually realize. Keating further explains the frustration of not being able to obtain instant gratification of these desires is what drives addiction—– and  it is when one is forced to admit one’s powerlessness and ask for help that one’s spiritual journey can begin. It is important to note, however, that he adds, “The real spiritual journey depends on our acknowledging the unmanageability of our lives. The love of God or the Higher Power is what heals us”( Keating,  2009,  Divine Therapy & Addiction: Centering Prayer and the Twelve Steps ,p. 11, Kindle Edition, New York: Lantern Books).

Keating clarifies in these interviews that the first two steps adopted by those in 12 step recovery are actually steps needed for anyone’s spiritual journey—–the steps involving surrender and acceptance of life’s unmanageability combined with the acceptance of help from a Higher Power.  He believes the steps inherent in this spiritual journey  can free us from the emotional tyranny that drives us (addiction) and replace it with a serenity dependent on building  “an ever-deepening relationship with God” (Keating, p. 11).

By now, as many times as I have had to apply these essential steps in my life, I should be able to automatically practice the steps of surrender and acceptance. But it is never easy to admit defeat and ask for help. Even with spiritual growth and building a closer relationship with God, I still have a prideful false-self who wants to run the show. Hence, my need to take these steps over and over again in every facet of my life.  Life’s lessons have taught me that my survival is absolutely dependent on forming a closer relationship with God. I have come to realize only two things matter and remain with me no matter what: my soul and God. So, at this point in my life, my main goal is building  what Keating calls “an ever-deepening relationship with God.” Writing these blogs is one of the tools I am using in building that relationship, and I thank you for letting me share my thoughts and journey with you.

Please comment and share your thoughts about surrender, acceptance, and relating to God as a means of surviving and knowing peace, freedom, and serenity. My God bless and keep you.

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This afternoon I read something that made me consider the difference between what is sacred and what is profane. According to Rohr (2013, Yes, and…Daily Meditations, p. 174,  Cincinnati, OH: Franciscan Media)  “Everything is profane if you live on the surface of it, and everything is sacred if you go into the depths of it—-even your sin.” He further states (p. 174), “To go inside your own mistakenness is to find God. To stay on the surface of very good things—like the bible, sacraments, priesthood, or church—is to often do very unkind and evil things, while calling them good” (p. 174).

One of the things I find fascinating about this man, this author, is that he is a Franciscan priest…..and, yet, he can and does often say things I would never have expected to hear from a priest.  The main reason I love this author is I know whatever he says may “shake my mind up a bit” and take my thoughts to something new and perhaps profound.

His comparison of profane and sacred is a prime example of what I’m talking about. Here is this priest saying all these holy things can be profane if used wrongly/superficially to create evil, it is instead our mistakes that can be sacred if we “go into the depth of them,” and, in so doing, we can “find God.” I feel a bit like Alice in Wonderland—-everything that was big is now small and everything that was small is now big. What I’ve been taught is sacred can actually be profane, and it is the depths of my “mistakenness” that can  actually lead me to God.

In my heart, I know he is right. I have seen too many people find God in recovery from the depths of their mistakes. My own mistakenness brought me to God. And I know he is right about the “sacred” being misused and contributing to evil; we have the Crusades, Spanish Inquisition, Salem witch trials, etc. all of which were based on “religious doctrine.”

What I find so bothersome about this new way of looking at sacred and profane is that I am suddenly aware of all the time I spend doing “superficial things”—–things like playing on the Internet, watching TV, watching NetFlix, scrolling through Facebook, reading mysteries or romance novels, etc. My list of what  might be considered profane in my life is now growing quite large.  On the other hand, parts of my life are growing in my pursuit of depth—-spiritual reading, meditation, praying, studying the Bible, centering prayer, etc. However, although I am proud of the progress I’ve made in these areas, most of the weight on my “teeter-totter” is on the profane side, and I have to start questioning why I find superficial things so appealing and addictive. I rationalize that my “mind needs a break,” “playing computer games is mind exercise,”  or “instant communication is quicker,” etc.

When I am honest with myself I know that while texting is easy and immediate there is little or no depth to it. Talking to someone face-to-face has the potential for much more depth. If we do not stop spending so much time tethered to our gadgets—-our Internet, our tablets, our laptops, our hard drives, our portable music systems, our cell phones, etc.—- maybe we will forget that human communication once had depth to it. That is a scary thought! Or maybe, it is sacred if it motivates us to dare to look at the “depth” of the danger(s) inherent in gadget communication replacing human communication.

Please comment and share your thoughts about this profane/sacred dilemma. Maybe you can help me brush it off as “much ado about nothing.” Or maybe you can help me find new depth and meaning so my teeter-totter will level out.  Enough. God bless and keep you.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about physical pain and my mental reaction to it. Not just because of arthritis made worse by rain and dampness but also because a friend I talked to this morning described being in chronic and bothersome pain. I know when I try to practice mindfulness with my pain it doesn’t make the pain go away—-it just helps me accept it and get beyond it if possible. It works, for me, kind of like a narcotic; the pain doesn’t go away but I just don’t care as much as I did prior to taking the pain med or practicing mindfulness. Sometimes, when pain is repetitive and excruciating (the kind that heralds, for me, the need to seek emergent medical care), mindfulness allows me to experience the pain,—-to surrender to the experience,  to cry out in anguish, to be swallowed up in the “now-ness” of the pain knowing that it is cyclical and there will be pain free moments between the bouts of pain. It allows me to practice a mantra of “Christ have mercy. God have mercy.” And He does.

However, I think some of my pain is avoidable. I think I can get caught up in the unnecessary stress of constantly hurrying and striving to get things done quickly and correctly. This leads to consequent physical problems because my mind and body are connected—-with pain being one of the most frequently occurring “red flags” that tells me I am experiencing what the following quote describes:

“Hurry sickness. You get it every time you try to do too much and think it’s still not enough. When’s the last time you simply spent a half hour with God?”

Every year I get a flu shot, so I don’t get the flu. I take vitamins daily, so I can ward off colds. I try to eat right and exercise. But all of those things will not keep me healthy if I don’t take my daily prescription for hurry sickness— at least twenty uninterrupted minutes of prayer and silence. God-time. Every day.”

Editors, Guideposts (2012-10-01). Daily Guideposts 2013 (Kindle Locations 1484-1488). Guideposts Books. Kindle Edition.

According to this quote, I suffer from “hurry sickness.” I can get so caught up in it that I forget to spend time with God and re-charge. This “hurry sickness” seems to be  a holistic illness of body, mind and spirit. As the quote points out, the best cure is the preventative medicine of spending at a specified amount of time with God on a daily basis.

Do you suffer from this malady? How do you cope with the tendency to always push yourself to hurry and get things done quickly and correctly? Please comment and share your ideas. May God bless and keep you.

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Sometimes I feel like my mind gets bombarded with something to the point that I have to give up “kicking and screaming” and pay attention to it even if it is absolutely the last thing I want to do. Last night book’s study focused on the concept of “sloth.”  The book we are studying identified sloth as: “…… “avoidance of physical or spiritual work ” (P., Bill; W., Todd; S., Sara [2009-06-03]. Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects – Steps Six and Seven (p. 38). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition).

In other words, sloth is not just putting off doing something by choosing to do it when you feel like it —-it is also neglecting and putting off needed “spiritual work.”  I have always had an attitude about doing things my way, which, by default, includes  not doing things until I  feel “good and ready” in my mind to do whatever task is looming. This results in living in semi-hoarder conditions at work and at home. In the past, I have bragged that a messy desk (which, in my case, soon spreads to a stacked and messy office floor) is the sign of a creative mind at work.  Should my readers think I am exaggerating, when I taught at the University of Texas Health Science Center in San Antonio  one of the main office administrative assistants was asked to deliver something to my office. I guess he’d never seen my office before, because he reported my office to security because he thought it looked like it had been vandalized.

My “slothful” way of refusing to keep things neat and orderly according to society’s standards has long been one of the few remaining habits I employ to rebel against authority and “the system.”  I do so by stubbornly doing or not doing things “my way.” There are a tad too many “I”s and “my”s in what I’ve written so far. Thus, a new red flag is emerging. I may have to pay attention to the spiritual part. False pride may be threading its way through decades of purposeful mess.

Here’s what I’ve discovered about my “mess pattern.” Yes, I put off what I don’t like to do. When the clutter starts to annoy me, get in my way, hide what I am trying to find, or harbor dust that triggers sneezing and wheezing, then I start to be motivated to clean up the clutter. Then I enlist the help of a friend who enjoys cleaning and organizing as one of her favorite activities, and we start cleaning and organizing. We tackle one room at a time until I run out of motivation. Things look great for a while—–even though I can’t seem to find things in their organized place. But, eventually , over time, I am once again surrounded by comfortable clutter.

So, my physical sloth occurs on a continuum from none to overwhelming. I can’t even say  that it comes to rest in the “middle” and enhances a semblance of balance in my life. For the most part, the “sloth indicator” stays much closer to the overwhelming side of the continuum than the none side. I believe that is where my comfort level resides….anymore and feelings of guilt, depression, and being overwhelmed start to stir; any less and I don’t feel relaxed and “in my own skin.” I am not sure I am willing to accept that this is a barometer of my spiritual condition. Many neat freaks I  have observed through the years haven’t seemed capable of entertaining the concept of procrastination for longer than a few seconds—— but  they have also not reflected a healthy spiritual condition in their behaviors and interactions with others.  The mere fact that I have been judging their spiritual condition all these years does not indicate my spiritual condition has been anything to brag about either.

The authors of “Drop the Rock” present putting things off as a waste of time. There are times I am sure they are right, but other times I feel like if I spent my time organizing and cleaning I might miss out on another, more important aspect of life. I do acknowledge and fully accept their premise that the work of keeping spiritually fit is vitally important for recovery and living. I am not ready to accept my “comfort level procrastination” as it manifests in my  chosen state of non-overwhelming clutter as an indicator that my spiritual condition is in a similar state of disarray.  I choose to view myself as clutter challenged or just purposefully eccentric.

Please comment and share your thoughts about the character defect of “sloth” and how it relates to recovery and living day by day. May God bless and keep you.