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Sometimes I feel like my mind gets bombarded with something to the point that I have to give up “kicking and screaming” and pay attention to it even if it is absolutely the last thing I want to do. Last night book’s study focused on the concept of “sloth.” The book we are studying identified sloth as: “…… “avoidance of physical or spiritual work ” (P., Bill; W., Todd; S., Sara [2009-06-03]. Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects – Steps Six and Seven (p. 38). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition).
In other words, sloth is not just putting off doing something by choosing to do it when you feel like it —-it is also neglecting and putting off needed “spiritual work.” I have always had an attitude about doing things my way, which, by default, includes not doing things until I feel “good and ready” in my mind to do whatever task is looming. This results in living in semi-hoarder conditions at work and at home. In the past, I have bragged that a messy desk (which, in my case, soon spreads to a stacked and messy office floor) is the sign of a creative mind at work. Should my readers think I am exaggerating, when I taught at the University of Texas Health Science Center in San Antonio one of the main office administrative assistants was asked to deliver something to my office. I guess he’d never seen my office before, because he reported my office to security because he thought it looked like it had been vandalized.
My “slothful” way of refusing to keep things neat and orderly according to society’s standards has long been one of the few remaining habits I employ to rebel against authority and “the system.” I do so by stubbornly doing or not doing things “my way.” There are a tad too many “I”s and “my”s in what I’ve written so far. Thus, a new red flag is emerging. I may have to pay attention to the spiritual part. False pride may be threading its way through decades of purposeful mess.
Here’s what I’ve discovered about my “mess pattern.” Yes, I put off what I don’t like to do. When the clutter starts to annoy me, get in my way, hide what I am trying to find, or harbor dust that triggers sneezing and wheezing, then I start to be motivated to clean up the clutter. Then I enlist the help of a friend who enjoys cleaning and organizing as one of her favorite activities, and we start cleaning and organizing. We tackle one room at a time until I run out of motivation. Things look great for a while—–even though I can’t seem to find things in their organized place. But, eventually , over time, I am once again surrounded by comfortable clutter.
So, my physical sloth occurs on a continuum from none to overwhelming. I can’t even say that it comes to rest in the “middle” and enhances a semblance of balance in my life. For the most part, the “sloth indicator” stays much closer to the overwhelming side of the continuum than the none side. I believe that is where my comfort level resides….anymore and feelings of guilt, depression, and being overwhelmed start to stir; any less and I don’t feel relaxed and “in my own skin.” I am not sure I am willing to accept that this is a barometer of my spiritual condition. Many neat freaks I have observed through the years haven’t seemed capable of entertaining the concept of procrastination for longer than a few seconds—— but they have also not reflected a healthy spiritual condition in their behaviors and interactions with others. The mere fact that I have been judging their spiritual condition all these years does not indicate my spiritual condition has been anything to brag about either.
The authors of “Drop the Rock” present putting things off as a waste of time. There are times I am sure they are right, but other times I feel like if I spent my time organizing and cleaning I might miss out on another, more important aspect of life. I do acknowledge and fully accept their premise that the work of keeping spiritually fit is vitally important for recovery and living. I am not ready to accept my “comfort level procrastination” as it manifests in my chosen state of non-overwhelming clutter as an indicator that my spiritual condition is in a similar state of disarray. I choose to view myself as clutter challenged or just purposefully eccentric.
Please comment and share your thoughts about the character defect of “sloth” and how it relates to recovery and living day by day. May God bless and keep you.
Living One Day at a Time 
I have a big problem with clutter and procrastination. I have been reading what “the FlyLady” has to say about it as a means to protect yourself from having to deal with other people and move forward with your life and I believe it applies to me. I have been hit in the face with problems lately that could have been prevented if I had prioritized and faced issues sooner, and it is a bitter pill. I do believe that all of this is tied together and that maybe the pathologically neat have just found a different way of dealing with insecurity and fear of change.
I hadn’t thought about it, but you are right—–my cultivated mess does tend to put a protective barrier between me and the sorts of people with which I am uncomfortable. Food for thought; thank you for the insight.
Welcome to my cluttered world of sloth. I like you can feel quite Comfortable in it, and I relish pulling out the file or info to the utter amazement of friends and relatives. I may be in self-denial, but I don’t feel my sloth means my spiritual life is slothful. Perhaps others are a better judge of that! Currently, I am pitching 44 years of sloth as we try to pack. I admit I wish some stacks and boxes were less full, but all my Sloth has also provided some wonderful Sentimental moments, “holy cow! Look at this!” And any # of “I forgot we had this.” My current pledge is not to return to my slothful ways in our Memphis house. Only time and intention will tell. Brenda Sent from my iPhone
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I, too, have friends working with me to de-clutter and organize. I feel much more productive and relaxed in a clean, open environment and desk than in one filled with stuff, much of which I don’t remember why or where it is. Yes, it is stressful adjusting to a new way of doing things but this is also what Christ demands of us – a changed life. In the long run, I will have more free time for books, prayer, my dogs, community service and return to a comfortable, restful home.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I am happy for you and celebrate your conversion. On the other hand, I am “not there” yet in terms of being motivated to give up my clutter. However, your comments do a good job of applying motivational interviewing techniques to my situation—-they have a good chance of moving me closer to that magical point of wanting to do something about my clutter.
I so identify with your comment! Thank you so much for sharing it. There must be both joy and sorrow bound up in packing to move. Decisions of what to keep and what to toss can be painful and liberating at the same time. Please let me know if I can help you with any of your “moving tasks.”
I am so very grateful you “tossed” all your yarn into my guest bedroom as it will serve to make many prayer shawls, scarves, and Creative Expressions group projects. Thank you!
Sloth is such an ugly word—-I guess that’s why I’ve always used the word procrastination. My problem physically is not sloth, but perfection. If I can’t be perfect, sometimes I let go of my mess and just live in it. But I am not comfortable with the mess very long (maybe a week, or longer if I am incapacitated) Then I have the need to start straightening. The spiritual sloth however is the one I need to deal with more. I use excuses to not be in the spiritual realm by saying, “I got up too late” or “I’ll do it later” or “that’s enough for now.” The physical realm takes me away from the spiritual more often than not because it is so visual (or visible?) I can see the physical mess but I don’t see the spiritual mess unless I look inside. When I look inside all I see is dark. Until I call on God. Then the light appears and I can see the mess I’ve made. This mess takes less time than my physical mess, because I can give it to God and He clears the wreckage. Too bad I don’t remember this more often.
I am much more comfortable with the word procrastination—-but like sloth it is a “dirty word” to some people. Thank you for your comments; it is so important to take time for daily spiritual renewal. Maybe I am meant to learn to do the same thing in regards to physical procrastination.