Photo by K. Farwell
Seems like all they could talk about in today’s meeting was how almost every problem human beings encounter only happens because we turn our back on God. Perhaps I was programmed to hear that because I had, in a meeting previous to that one, been given the insight that as my entire life unfolded before me almost every problem I encountered was to some extent if not entirely a direct result of stubbornly trying to do things my way when I wanted and how I wanted to do them. The times I experienced problems were those times when I purposefully shut God out so I could be in charge of my own life and destiny. Fortunately, God never stopped loving me.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying we have to just sit back and leave everything up to God. Of course, we have to do the foot work, but the key, for me at least, is having the willingness to “Let Go and Let God” even when I do the foot work. In other words, I need to work in partnership with my Higher Power and not run my life on based on self-will. Many years of bad decisions have taught me trying to run things on my own self-will always just seems to create more problems.
My insight I gained this morning, however, was a bit more revealing than just being shown the importance of letting God be God. I had something happen yesterday that shed a new light on my relationship with God. I had a man at my house putting in a new dishwasher, and when he came walking through the living room carrying the old dishwasher out to his van, I quickly grabbed the dog I thought would run away and held the screen door open. To my dismay, with both hands full, I watched one of my rescue Bichons, Tibby, prance through the open door. As soon as I could I put the other dog down, shut the door, and went after Tibby. Here was this little white dog who was all fluffy from just being groomed and who was wearing his Thunder Shirt because he is afraid of thunder running away from me as it continues to thunder and begins to rain.
I could not catch up with him. He’d stop, take a few steps toward me, and then run off again into the big fields and yards behind the houses on my road. I didn’t care that I was getting soaked, but I did worry about both of being struck by lightning and him possibly drowning in some drainage ditch. After about seven or eight minutes of this, I realized I wasn’t going to catch up with him, and I went back to my house to change out of my soaked house shoes into some that would give me some traction.
On my way back out of the house I grabbed a leash and an umbrella, and then I walked around the neighborhood calling “Tibby” until I got hoarse and was beginning to worry I’d lose my voice. I returned to my house, and there he was standing in my front yard. However, he would not come to me or come back through the front door, and he ran off again. In desperation, I called a friend to come help me “try to find Tibby”—–but just as she was checking with her boss to see if she could leave work to help me, I saw a young man walking up the street toward my house with Tibby in his arms. I explained to him what happened, and he said he saw the dog and went after him because it was probably “one of those white poodles” that lady has—–I told him how grateful I was because I had been chasing the dog and calling him——that I could not catch him, and was afraid I’d lose him. The man explained to me he probably couldn’t have caught him either if the dog had not stopped to go to the bathroom.
I cannot tell you how good it felt to have Tibby back in my arms safe and sound. But the insight I had this morning was that God must have felt that way all the times when I returned to Him after repeatedly putting myself and others in harm’s way just because I wanted to “get free, explore life experiences, and do things my way.”
I always wanted to “try things” and “make my mind up for myself” even though I was oblivious to the danger I was putting myself and others into at the time. I remember yesterday watching Tibby stop and sniff, explore, mark everything, and then come towards me only to run off again. My relationship with God has been like that, and now, I hope, I can remain in His loving embrace without jumping out and running off again. Oh yes, I have thanked God for His patience and apologized for the concern I caused at those times when I willingly left His embrace.. God bless and keep you.
Living One Day at a Time 
This is beautifully expressed and so very true. Thanks.
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You are most welcome. So glad you liked it!
Thanks for this. I have realized (meaning been hit in the face) lately that nearly all the anxiety I experienced during my recent move back to the U.S. was caused by my fear that if I didn’t control a problem, it would get away from me. Instead, what I experienced over and over was care and kindness from strangers who smoothed the way. Difficulties both large and small were fixed–not by me–with no great difficulty. Thanks be to God.
Yes, thanks be to God……and to you for sharing.
I can so relate to this. Nothing more frustrating than having your dog run off from you. My poor old Penny, the oldest Chihauhau I had, was always too smart for her own good. She deprived herself and us from so much joy because she just had to be independent and cunning. She ran away from us at the age of 15 (!), half blind and dependent on medicine to stay alive. Luckily she had the sense to ask an elderly woman for help when she got a mile away and we finally got her back after 3 miserable days. Totally analogous to what we put God through, yes.
So sorry you had to go through this for 3 days—–I was close to hysterical after just and hour that seemed like eternity!
Great blog you have here but I was wondering if you knew of any user discussion forums that cover
the same topics talked about in this article? I’d really
like to be a part of community where I can get suggestions from other experienced
individuals that share the same interest. If you have any recommendations, please
let me know. Cheers!
Glad you like the blog; I do not participate in any user discussion forums online, but I can tell you topics like I wrote about in this specific blog entry get talked about around 12 step tables all the time….many are open meetings that are open to the public. That means you don’t have to call yourself an alcoholic or addict to attend. Hope you find what you are looking for!