Photograph courtesy of Joshua Burgard
Today’s blog is a tribute to author Anne Lamott. The message she posted on her Facebook status this morning really spoke to me. First of all, she described, perfectly, the process I have to go through when I write something of worth for others to read. What a relief it is to know I share this attribute with a popular, well-read author! What spoke to my soul the loudest, though, was her description of what happens when one is able to dig through all the “chatter” that clutters one’s mind and soul until one reaches one’s “true self” (Lamott, 2014 accessed 2/2/14 at: https://www.facebook.com/AnneLamott).
Here is part of what she had to say: “And inspiration is when the really real in us gets through the chatter……… But inside that chatter, that bad self esteem and grandiosity and judgment and self-righteousness is the prize–me. My true me. Who I always was, deep inside, behind my eyes, taking it all in. My perfect precious self, who no one managed to ruin–not the parents, the culture, the worst men, the alcohol; not nothing ” (Lamott, 2014 accessed 2/2/14 at: https://www.facebook.com/AnneLamott).
I hadn’t thought about this link between my writing and my centering prayer before reading her status this morning. Both activities are centered in the “true self” Lamott describes—-one that is undaunted by the “chatter” that occupies our minds or the messages given to us by our life’s experiences. The mind’s chatter is always a distraction and challenge for me whenever I engage in centering prayer and try to “go within” to my inner self and sit quietly so that I am able to experience God’s gift of love.
Feeling God’s deep and unconditional love in that inner, true-self space—– knowing it there, in my core, gives rise to a glowing, powerful love that is able to “bleed out” and infuse itself into other aspects of my life. The certainty of that love is real, palpable, and infinitely precious. It is also comforting to know that any time I need to “re-fuel” that feeling of being unconditionally loved, I can take that journey inward through all the mind chatter and tap into it once again. It is always there. It is always part of me. No matter what.
So, thank you, Anne Lamott. Your words have gifted me with strong support for my journey through recovery. May God bless and keep you and my readers.
Living One Day at a Time 
This expresses so perfectly the struggle I’m having with being who I really am. Just this afternoon I had 2 conversations in which I said things I didn’t mean to say (not the one we had) and all the time part of me was shaking my head at myself even while I was speaking. So hard to reach, so hard to keep, that perfect precious self that is our soul. But it is always there, has always been there, as if part of myself stands watching the other part, waiting for the nonsense to stop.
That “witness” part of our self is aware of so much we do unconsciously—-the new awareness takes some getting used to. Thanks for your insightful comment.