cloud computer

Image courtesy of nokhoog_buchachon/

God seems to be telling me over and over again to stop trying to do things all by myself and to accept His help. I do not know why I am so stubborn that I repeatedly drive myself to the point of absolute frustration before I remember to surrender doing things my way and asking God for help. Why is my ego or false-pride so important to me that I hold on to it even when it endangers my spiritual and physical well-being? In the language of technology, my answer today is:  Forget the “cloud”—-my computers, tablet, and smart phone all need a “God button.” So do my mind, soul, and heart.

I caught myself screaming in frustration just the night before last. I scared my two rescue dogs half to death with the unearthly screeches that came forth from my lungs. I had been working almost 11 hours trying to merge several old documents into two new ones—-of course, one document was formatted in tables and the other was in narrative format, so nothing fit together as it should when I cut and pasted. In the midst of all this Microsoft Word stopped responding on my desktop computer, and when I rebooted I got that dreaded message which reads something like this: “Your computer will not start. Microsoft will try to repair the issue but you may lose some material in the process. Your computer will start and restart multiple times during this procedure, so please do not cancel this procedure when that happens.  If you are willing for this to happen, please press the ‘OK’ button.”

I took a gamble and punched “OK.” I kept working on my laptop doing what I could. Then my printer wouldn’t work.  Microsoft kept working on repairing my desktop computer for about 6 or 7 hours. I was afraid to try to use it even when it started again because I didn’t want to “cancel the procedure.” I spent from approximately 10:00 AM until 9:00 PM trying to control technology to no avail. After screaming twice and continually experiencing the same repeated problems, I finally bowed my head and said, “Okay God, I give up. I can’t do this. Please help me.” It is ironic that I write about doing this sort of thing all the time in my blogs and yet it took eleven hours for me to give up and “practice what I preach.”  After praying, I tried my desktop computer and it worked. Within 30 minutes all documents were completed and sent to their respective recipients. Things work when I ask and let God help me, even with mundane tasks like formatting and creating typed and printed documents on schedule.

The quote God led me to this morning in my search for spiritual guidance was this one:

“All cat owners know that we have to deal with cats on their own terms, not ours. But as a friend of mine said when I told her exactly what kind of job I wanted God to find for me, ‘Sounds like you’re willing to serve God, but only as an adviser! Why don’t you listen to God more than instruct him?'”

Linda Neukrug (2012). Daily Guideposts 2012, pp. 206-207.

I think this author meant that if we relate to cats on their own terms, why can’t we relate to God on His own terms? More specifically, after my computer fiasco, the message that “hit home” with me from this quote is I need to listen to God—–and not just advise him on how to answer my prayers. I admit I prayed several times during my eleven hour stress-filled technology fiasco, but those prayers were more centered on asking God to do things my way rather than surrendering and accepting whatever help He would give me. When I did get still and quiet, I was able to surrender. Only then were my problems solved—–probably because we were working in a God-led partnership rather than me trying to do things my way or by my “advising” God how to help ME solve the problem.

Please comment and share your thoughts about how you experience the difference between telling God how to help you and asking God for help. God bless and keep you.