crisis

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Many times I catch myself wondering “what if” I had taken a different path? Made a different decision? Chosen a different spouse? Moved to a different location?  My list of “what ifs” is quite endless, and I have found thinking along those lines brings me little comfort. You see, no matter what path I take, I am still “me” and I still have to live with me.

The path I chose has given me the spiritual tools I need to navigate this life one day at a time. Once again, I must remind myself it is not as important to answer “why” as it is “How do I respond to this?”  Sometimes the answer to “how” I am led to is not one I want to encounter. It is difficult to follow my Higher Power’s lead at those times, but I have learned to trust His guidance even when I cannot see the outcome and get caught up in the “future tense what ifs” that can overwhelm me if I lose sight of doing this in partnership with my Higher Power. On good days, I can redirect my thoughts from “what if this happens when I do this?” to “With God all things are possible.”

There was a posting on Facebook this morning that reminded me when I am feeling my most helpless, hopeless, and overwhelmed, my Higher Power is usually  working on creating something He wants for me. For me, those are the times when it is most difficult to accept God’s “invisible plan” on faith. I am grateful my life experiences have taught me doubts at times like that are normal and “okay.” At those times, I am especially grateful  my program of recovery has taught me to “act as if” I am confident  all will turn out according to my Higher Power’s plan. Sometimes I am better at it than others, and I have found that I need to keep nurturing/feeding a “spiritual savings account” in my soul so that when I most need it I can withdraw the faith I need. Sounds silly, I know. But when I go to Church, participate in Sunday School, participate in twelve step meetings, read the Bible and other spiritual resources, work on writing these blogs, and, most importantly, pray, I am constantly “making deposits” that keep my faith strong and alive.

This is not new information. Twelve step recovery is all about staying spiritually fit, meditating, praying—–and acting according to God’s will rather than our own.  These actions are beneficial for everyone; they have been proven to work on an individual basis over and over again by thousands of people .

It is easy to slip out of living mindfully in the moment  and miss experiencing  “now.” We need to leave our regrets in the dust, remember what we need to guide our future choices, and start working with our Higher Power to create the life we are meant to have.   According to Carmen (2013, The Book of Maybe: Finding Hope and Possibility in Your Life (p. 84), CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform. Kindle Edition),  “All we can know is that everything that has happened before in our lives has brought us to this moment. Within this moment there is no regret. There is only the hope that Maybe we can create the lives that we want from this point forward.” The good news is we don’t have to do it by ourselves.

Please comment and share how you feed your spiritual bank account and handling the “what ifs” you find yourself thinking about. My God bless and keep you.

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